This Guy Does Not Think Cleveland Park Is Steelers Country

Thanks to all who sent notes about the Cleveland Park Banner Thief. The victim writes:

Two videos of a real life crime being committed. This jerk stole my Steelers banner from my back yard. Please help identify the him, the car, his friends/accomplices and anything else that will help me catch this thief. It happened at 12:49 AM, Thursday, May 31st in Washington DC. They drove through the alley from Veazey to Warren Street then stopped, the thief jumped out and the car pulled behind my garage to wait for him to steal the banner. HELP IDENTIFY THIS THIEF AND HIS CO-CONSPIRATORS.

Please help identify this thief and his friends. A police report has been filed with the Second District station in Washington DC. This is the third time that my banner has been stolen, each time attached to my garage or house. Please email me information that will identify this criminal and his friends in the car.

124 Comment

  • Definitely a Ravens fan. Here we go Steelers, here we go.

  • with those clear videos and images of the thief’s face, you should be able to identify him very quickly. good luck.

  • Gotta love CP. Some of the nicest houses in DC and most of them have suveillanece systems that rival military facilities!

    • A decent surveillance system can be had for one or two thousand dollars. It’s very cheap insurance compared to the cost of the house.

      • Allison

        Speaking of insurance, does anyone know if having a home surveillance system can be used to decrease the cost of homeowner’s insurance?

      • gotryit

        Mine cost only $400. While fairly basic, it works quite well.

        My insurance doesn’t offer a discount because it isn’t monitored by a service.

  • It might be difficult to identify him from these videos. We should send it to the CSI Miami folks to enhance the video so we could get a 300 dpi, 8×10 portrait of the guy. In color.

  • Way to go theif! Screw the Steelers.

    • typical ravens fan–having trouble with spelling simple words, identifying basic shapes and patterns, etc.

  • root for the home team and this doesn’t happen. its pretty simple.

  • I’m sure the MPD has no important issues to focus on other than solving this sort of heinous crime using the most up-to-date and expensive forensic methods.

  • Who Dey!

  • This is why I don’t understand irrationally hardcore sports fans.

    • say what yo want about Joe Stiller, but that seems like a pretty straightforward first amendment issue. Trespassing and burglary seems to be the point where the line was crossed.

  • This is hilarious. I hope they steal it 3 more times.

    • +1


  • Stop shoving your Steelers fandom down your neighbors throats! Flying a flag on game day is one thing…a banner on the side of your house?

    I think this guy did you a favor.

  • i’m not advocating violence, but it would be nice to see something like this happen to dan snyder, but on a much larger scale.

  • PaschTag

    There seem to be a lot of “Stealers” fans around.

  • I really hope the OP did not put up the cameras just to spot this. Pretty hilarious though.

  • BAHAHAHAHA! I think the world is trying to tell you something.

  • Personally, I’d keep putting the banners up, but rubbing them with poison ivy or some other equally joyous substance every night.


    She’s tamed her rhetoric a little, at least. Previously, this was “really scary” and a “violation on many levels.”

    Even funnier, there’s apparently a “hydrangea thief” in Cleveland Park.

    • This made my morning. I don’t have kids and never will but the DCUM forums are hysterical! I have the off-topic section bookmarked so I have something to read when I’m waiting for people who are late.

  • Sports fans who think anyone cares about their ridiculous inherited proclivities are just plain wretched. Go smear your logo feces all around your own living room, this drunkard did you a favor.

  • Enhance!!

  • Stealing private property is wrong and I hope they catch the guy, but I love how the people who move here from other cities think they have some inherent right to be obnoxious and fly their home cities’ colors all over the place. Have some respect for the city you live in, the city you chose to move to.

    I’d like to see how long a Ravens flag would last if I moved to Pittsburgh and tossed it up on a house. But I’d never move to that sh*thole.

    • Wait…are you saying DC is a hometown for ratbird fans? That’s hilarious. Nobody…NOBODY south of Columbia cares about the ratbirds.

      • I used the Ravens as context, since their fans are almost as annoying as Steelers fans, and are their rivals.

    • Actually, property owners do have a right to display banners or flags on their property.

      • And I’d have a “right” to obnoxiously fly Nats flags in Philly, Redskins flags in Dallas, etc, etc, if I happened to own property in those cities. Sure. However, it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise to anyone if my flags get stolen. As I asked earlier, how long would it take for a Ravens flag to get stolen in Pittsburgh? I want this guy to answer that, if he’s actually from Western PA. DC has far more tolerance than anywhere else in the country when it comes to this stuff, and while yes, stealing and tresspassing are wrong, I don’t see this as being a big enough deal to make a huge case.

    • In the back yard is not “all over the place,” ass. Get a grip.

  • fuck the steelers – owner got what he deserved. what a herb.

  • I don’t condone stealing. This should not have happened. Yet it is fun to blame the victim in this case. The video says this happened on May 31st. Why the hell is this banner up when football season is months away? People take their Christmas decorations down. Also, fuck the Steelers, go Browns!

    • Don’t worry dude — you’ll be able to keep painting the town brown with your team banner. . . either no one wants to touch it, or it provides comic relief to people in disbelief that someone would actually advertise being a Browns fan

      • It is a bitter, sad, and lonely existence. Someone’s got to do it.

        • PDleftMtP

          Could be worse. I’m a Lions fan, and we’ve won precisely one playoff game since my father was 15. He turns 70 this year. (But at least I have more hope to crush than you do now.)

        • trust me, it’s sad for Steeler fans too. We’d rather beat you and have it mean something… or God help me, I’ll take the occasional L just to have it mean something when we inevitably beat you the next time.

          • PDleftMtP

            Seriously, if you need to taunt the Lions to feel good about yourself, you need help. It’s not like we don’t know.

          • Who’s taunting Lions fans. I’m taunting Browns fans. Doesn’t take much because much like the Lions they practically taunt themselves

  • So if I move here from somewhere else I have to give up my hometown team and root for a team I have no attachment to? And then people will commend the theft of personal property? Sick.

    • Some family friends are die hard Pats fans. They fly plenty of flags in their front yard. But, they live in Fairfax County. Maybe more there….

      • It’s all in the eyes of the beholder. I’d be a lot more likely to take a NE Cheaters (er, Patriots) banner than a Steelers banner.

        J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets!!

    • The horror….the horror…..

    • No, but you should have respect for the fact that you aren’t in your hometown anymore and not obnoxiously flaunt massive banners, flags and lame-ass chants in your neighbors’ faces. There’s a reason you moved here from whatever depressing city you came from.

      • Wow Alex calm down you seem a little bitter. Remember it is just a game and I doubt you own stock in the team. Trust me, the players you are worshiping and defending care nothing about you. Well except for the crappy Redskins gear you buy which helps them get paid.

  • The hometown rule is a red herring. The Steelers only see the Skins every 4th year, except for preseason (yawn) and Superbowl . . . oh, right . . . never mind

  • This post is hilarious. Thanks for the Monday morning chuckle!

  • as an attorney i don’t support crime or theft specifically, but as a browns fan i hope he tore up and burned the banner after he ripped it down.

    • Do you have to be an attorney not to support crime or theft? Can’t you be a regular person?

      • Yes, but attorneys are held to a much higher legal standard than the general public. They are required to take an oath to support the Constitution and the laws of the land.

        Additionally, attorneys much report any and all misconduct. For example, attorneys must notify their ethics board every time they get so much as a speeding ticket.

      • me thinks you missed the point

        • Didn’t you realize that attorneys are also required to always mention that they are attorneys in any conversation they are in, relevance be damned. 

  • As a longtime Indy Colts fan the Steelers stole our shot at the Super Bowl back in 1995 (Kordell Stewart stepped out of bounds on a touchdown, this was before instant replay). I would not be silly enough to display Colts colors in DC.

  • If you’re going to put cameras around your house at least put it a little lower so you can see more than the top of someone’s head.

  • What are you going to do? Have him arrested?

    This is a victimless crime. You’re on foreign turf, you should expect this kind of thing when you flaunt your allegiances so openly.

    • This certainly is not a victimless crime. How is this any different from the regular complaints on PoP of bike thefts? If a driver who hates cyclists took to stealing bikes from porches would you say the bike owners were wrong to be angry?

      • Yeah that’s an air-tight analogy.

        This thread is as hilarious as the “crime”.

        • Please explain the difference – you neglected that in your reply. Isn’t theft of property from someone’s home always a crime? Or are some thefts ok in your view?

  • You’re a Steelers fan, you got what you deserve.

  • Why not just not care?

    Football is for cheap-reno-flip-suburban-crime-gentrifier types anyway.


    Umm, Bin Laden had “co-conspirators.” Some think Lee Harvey Oswald had “co-conspirators.” The guy in your video had drunken friends.

    • Actually, they are all guilty of conspiracy to commit larceny, even the guys in the car.

      If they were drunk, they’re also guilty of driving while intoxicated, and driving drunk is arguably worse than stealing a banner.

      • Can you prove that the driver was drunk, or are you just making allegations with no basis?

      • I wasn’t arguing about the technical legal definition of a co-conspirator. I just found it funny that a group of banner thieves are dubbed “co-conspirators.” I don’t think they spent months plotting this evil act. It was probably some drunk idiots who saw the banner and decided to steal it.

        And to the person who said, “Can you prove that the driver was drunk, or are you just making allegations with no basis?”

        Yes, I can prove the driver was drunk. Just like I can prove that you take things way too literally and completely lack a sense of humor. “Allegations with no basis”? Lighten up. Is the driver going to sue me for slander?

  • Pretty sure the owner is more concerned about someone trespassing and stealing three times, and he brings up the fact it’s a Steelers banner in case it helps anyone find the guy/car.

  • Allison

    I hate football. Nevertheless, I empathize with the property owner just for the feeling of violation. Regardless of what team you support or ugly stuff you hang on your house, you should be able to go to bed at night knowing people aren’t going to just come rip stuff off your house.

  • hilarious.

  • People in this thread need to play nice! Calling other people douches? Saying “Go eff yourself”?? Come on, be civil!

  • Steeler fans make me want to eat barf. Unless you live in Pittsville, PA keep your stupid Squeeler pride on the shelf dude. Your lucky the only thing they did was steal your lousy flags. I’m guessing you’ve already got the next banner hanging loud and proud already right?

  • karma will take of this jagoff, and his team.

    go stillers.

  • Any given Sunday in the life of Tommy Maddox…

  • “Help! An ex-frat-boy and his ‘co-conspirators’ ripped down my football banner!” Third Ward Problems…

    • Righto, because it’s mandatory a legitimate problem in this city must contain unmerited violence. I’ll take the bye bye banner business any day of the week.

    • Me likey “Third Ward Problems” good one!

  • Wow, I can’t believe how many people are giving the video poster a hard time. Even if it’s not something that you value personally, this is still theft.

    I don’t follow any professional sports, largely because of the fans. The comments on this post show why.

    • PDleftMtP

      I have to say, I don’t think some of the “quit whining” posters would be happy if I went to their homes and removed whatever decorations weren’t to my taste. No, it’s not murder, but it’s hardly unreasonable to think people shouldn’t be taking your stuff from your home.

  • It is well established that the Steelers quarterback, Ben Rothlisberger, has committed several sexual assaults. The culprits are surely gentlemen of great moral fortitude who respect women and are making a statement. This is a noble act of disobedience and I commend it.

  • no iron blankie here, this is Skin country

  • Er, am I the only one who noticed that this didn’t occur in the Cleveland Park neighborhood? This is the North Cleveland Park neighborhood. And before anyone gets on my case about that being some developer’s idea of a new neighborhood, check the facts. North Cleveland Park is an official DC neighborhood and has been called that since the late 19th Century.

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