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Good Deal or Not? “A big playful puppy, in a show-dog’s coat, on Greyhound legs” edition
This house is located at 717 K St, NE:
The listing says:
“A big playful puppy, in a show-dog’s coat, on Greyhound legs…Leave leash at home. The original builder would be thrilled and proud. He built for strength; and a no-nonsense , practical, durability. Rainbow Properties stayed squarely on that path, pausing only to add extreme livability by installing serious systems and simplifying the interior design. Do the math: Width + Height = Deep Desire.”
You can see more photos here.
This 4 bed/3.5 bath is going for $693,750.
Category: H St. NE, Real Estate
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..or bike. or bus. or drive. or cab. or walk. or stay in the neighborhood.
people... 
I guess they'll have to just walk the half mile to the NOMA Metro or take the H St...
do all texans think the same?
i'm not sure why i get why that is relevant.
Sally
4:54pm
Frankly, as a Texan, I have never had worse enchiladas than I had at Mi Cocina. I don't...
OMG! That description is stupid.
Rainbow Properties seems to specialize in wacky descriptions.
could be writing for porn.
I knew it was Rainbow properties from the title alone.
Yep. makes the house sound like one ugly-ass dog
A big playful puppy, in a show-dog’s coat, on Greyhound legs…Leave appetite at home. The mad scientist would be thrilled and proud at the abomination he has created. He built for strength; and a no-nonsense, horrifying canine monstrosity. Rainbow Properties stayed squarely on that path, pausing only to play god by installing serious neck bolts. Do the math: pile of reanimated dog parts + lightning = nightmare for the peasantry.
That bedspread has to go.
“Do the math: Width + Height = Deep Desire”
Yup, that was said.
I also enjoyed this selection: “He built for strength.”
Seriously, someone needs to include writing classes in real estate training. Most of what PoP copies from listings is incomprehensible.
Another wording gem of a listing from Rainbow Properties.
what the effffffff
Also forgot about this gem of a description from another Rainbow property (http://realestateindc.com/details.php?id=576):
“Capture that first crush feeling; increased heart-rate, lightheadedness, and a not at all unpleasant tingling sensation. Pleasure centers pound just turning onto the most enchanted, storybook block around. Blinding cheerfulness just opening the door… “What’s the price again?” You read it right. One of the larger houses on Wylie, designed for maximum thrill, and packed with requisite mechanicals.”
WTF.
I own a Rainbow Properties renovated house. Their roof work and shower work (we have a lead after 3 years and speculate there is no membrane in the shower) is shoddy.
Their claims of a new roof is simply putting a new layer on top and not fixing the old roofs. They also do some sloppy finishing work like not covering drains when grouting or pouring concrete, creating headaches down the line. They may look nice but their workmanship isn’t meant to last, it is meant to flip the house at the highest level of profit possible.
BE WEARY!
Goddamn am I weary.
Is it ’cause of all the stress?
who wants a sky light in the bedroom? talk about never sleeping in!
That was what I was saying last time there was a Rainbow GDoN ; glad someone else thinks the same! (There were several people last time who said that they don’t sleep in on weekends and that skylights therefore weren’t an issue.)
“You should sleep late, man. It’s just much easier on your constitution.”
Skylights eventually leak. One more awkward thing to fix.
The metaphor alone would keep me from seriously considering this property.
Well, it got our attention!
Is it just me or does it look like you can reach up and pull those cable wires from the second story porch?
Rainbow properties says… zip line included!
Rainbow Properties needs to lay off the bath salts.
in fairness to rainbow properties, they don’t write the wacky listings, their broker, tom faison, does.
Then maybe they need a different broker? Or they need to manage him and tell him to write in plain English?
yep. this is totally a tom faison thing. all his listing descriptions are…funny.
Every new flip looks exactly the same… boring and soulless.
I really don’t like it when the pictures are in a totally random order. It’s impossible to get a sense of the place.
And the description is fatiguing. I stopped reading after “greyhound legs” and assumed it was on stilts.
Listings like this make me feel like I could be a part-time realtor
“Good deal or not: Tortured Metaphors Edition”
Hard for me to get a feeling of how spacious it is from the photos.
But similar houses nearby have sold for this amount or more.
OK, now I’m embarrassed. I liked the description. It was like they read our comments about all the others and said “ok, how ’bout this?” to which everyone said “epic fail!” But I thought it was kinda funny.
And totally agree about skylights over the bed! I don’t even like that my clock radio is so bright.
I have a huge skylight in my master. You get used to it.
Greyhound legs are too skinny and spindly.
I lived on K St very near here in the early 1990s, when the neighborhood was very different. I enjoyed the location but it was tough – the night the spotlight shining into the backyard went out, someone tried to crowbar their way in the back door, and then there was the evening that Scoop was shot in the head just in front on K Street. And can’t forget the crack dealer who carried her supplies in the baby carriage, with the baby.
Very very different.
what’s with all those recessed lights? was home depot having a special?
Cans for floods are cheaper than proper fixtures, and light is more sale’able than…well…dark.
My understanding had been that recessed lighting was generally more expensive, because of the need to create a new ceiling slightly lower than the old one.
My previous two places had no built-in lighting except in the hallway, kitchen, and bathroom; you had to have floor lamps. So I think of recessed lighting as a _good_ thing, not a bad one.
Recessed lights fit in the joist spaces. You don’t need to drop the ceiling
Man I wish I was drunk too.
i’m pretty sure the listing agent was smoking bath salts.
This is like two homes in a row from the Rainbow rehab factory that PoP has featured as a good deal or not. I agree with comments about the descriptions that their realtor uses – I find them insulting to my intelligence. (I guess the agent who writes them is laughing all the way to the bank.) And every one of these Rainbow houses looks the same. Same colors same finishes. No imagination. So I’m really, really curious why PoP keeps featuring them. Seems like it’s just free advertising for seller.
The house itself is beautiful, I don’t know if it deserves the silly descriptions from Rainbow Properties (you just pooped on it!)