Would it be inappropriate to point out how annoying the Harley-fueled Rolling Thunder and National Police Week are?

There HAS to be a quieter way to be patriotic than FLUUUUUUBlublubblu blubblhhrRRRR!!!! I love me some ‘merica just as much as the next guy. And the person next to me can hear me say it when I don’t have to shout over this obnoxious garbage.

What’s the point of it anyway? I missed the section in civics where they told everyone that beer bellies on loud gas belchers were the most reasonable way to show support for the country. The whole thing strikes me as just lazy and inconsiderate. Just like everyone thinks Discovery Channel is lazy for switching from creative programming to reality TV about…motorcycles. In a parade or on TV, they’re wastes of resources and are a half-assed way to do the job.

Want to have a good old militarist parade? Fine. Do it like they’ve been doing since the Tarquins and WALK. Yeah. Get off your freaking noise box and lose a few lbs by walking around the mall and waving a flag or gun or whatever it is you guys support apart from CO2 and hearing aids. Maybe save some gas for the rest of us while you’re at it.

For L’Enfant’s sake. Shut those machines up.