Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Vileinist

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. I’ll open this thread every morning at 10am.

A reader found a lone car key at Georgia near Columbia Rd, NW. Please email me if you think it’s yours.

“Dear PoPville,

Very nice bike found in Bloomingdale at about 11pm. Email me if you believe it to be yours and can identify it. Email Eric @ oldnjaded at gmail.com”

193 Comment

  • Rave: So happy to be alive today. Last night as the storm passed through Petworth, bolt of lighting came crashing down about 2 feet from me, and I was looking right at it, almost could have hugged it, it was so close. Never experienced anything quite like it.

    Rant: The jolt fried my router and ethernet card. No internet access at home until I get it fixed.

    • Wow, what a scary experience. Glad to hear you lived to tell the tale.

    • Where were you? Inside by a window? Outside?

      Crazy lucky!

    • houseintherear

      holy moly– someone or thing out there is looking out for you!

    • me

      I was struck a little over 4 years ago, was paralyzed from the neck down for a bit. 9 out of 10 people survive strikes… still doesn’t mean it’s a fun thing to go through. I can imagine how scared you must have been!!!

      • Apparently it’s huge voltage and very low amps. Loud as heck though, holy moly is right. This is about the 4th or 5th of my nine lives. Like two different times with gun barrel pointed at me (as one of the guys said “thought you’d want to chill”), almost run over by speeding getaway car (one second earlier I would have been toast). I hope I save my remaining 4 or 5 for my 90s.

      • holy cow. I really want to hear that story. I’m so sorry!

        • me

          It’s not horribly interesting… but the best part is that I was laying there and the people who were around supposedly went to find help, but they just left. Took volunteer firemen about an hour and a half to find me, because friends knew I didn’t come back from where I was. I don’t remember the next 6 days after. Sad part is, none of the lottery tickets that I was given after won anything!

          • what?! they left? I hope those people get sucked up by a tornado. my god.

            so so so glad you survived. I have what my boyfriend thinks is an irrational fear of being struck by lightning, but maybe I’ll hang onto it.

    • daaaaaamn! that happened to me once. craziest thing i’ve ever felt in my life.

      • seriously? I’m fascinated by this. more than one person who reads this blog has been struck by lightning? there’s a 1 in 1,000,000 chance you’ll be struck every year, but I guess those odds are better than lotto.

  • Rave: Playing words with friends with my dad. <3

  • Rant:People who are not supportive of my husband and my decision to be childfree by choice. All of our family is okay with it, but coworkers and people I barely know always have something to say about it. “Oh, you will change your minds”, “Who will carry on your legacy?”, What’s the point of life if not to have children?”. It is my body and our marriage and we are weel-informed adults that simply do not want to have children.

    Related rant: No doctor will entertain the idea of sterlizing me yet. Maybe in a year when I hit 30 they will change their tune.

    Rave: Celebrating 3 blissful years of childfree marriage to the greatest husband I could imagine on Sunday!

    • what? I’m sorry. I totally support you! good for you! good for the environment!

      people are idiots.

    • We are also child-free. I haven’t gotten much crap from people, but people at my husband’s office always give him the “you’ll change your mind” speech. They say my baby timer is going to go off. Um…no. I don’t find children cute or endearing, and I have NO desire to have one.

      Congrats on the anniversary! We are celebrating 2 years on Monday.

      • Glad to hear I am not the only one out there whose knees don’t get weak when they see a baby.

        Congratulations to you two on two years!

        • Another childfree-by-choice couple here! I (and most of us) know exactly what you go through with co-workers, family, and friends. You have support 🙂

    • Congratulations! And sorry for all the idiots.

      Per the sterilization thing, though, why bother with major surgery when you could just use other forms of bc? But, I don’t really understand that with any woman (my understanding is that it’s much easier to perform male sterilization).

      • It is easier to have my husband sterilized. We have discussions about it every so often and hopefully one day we will get past that male ego thing.

        I am on birth control that works well for me now, but am not thrilled about taking it for the next 20 years or so. It screws with my skin which results in me having to take more medicine to counteract it.

        I guess what bothers me is that at the end of the day it is my body, but physicians are so afraid of getting sued they won’t even entertain the notion.

        • I suggest that “childfree” (an annoying term, but whatever)couples bothered by intrusive co-workers console themselves by sleeping late on weekends, having spontaneous sex in the living room or kitchen, and devoting money not spent on day care and private schooling to wine-fueled vacations in the South of France.

          The reason, btw, doctors are hesitant to sterilize younger patients is that they’ve been asked a million times to reverse previous sterilizations. I’m sure it’s annoying, but they have a point, as well.

          • That came off more bitter than I meant it to. Really, though, someone gives you a hard time about not having kids, taunt them about driving a mini-van.

          • I use childfree as people, often those with children, call us childless. I am not without anything as the term childless implies to me. Since it is my choice to not have children I choose to use the term that has positive conotations to me is all.

        • Have you thought about an IUD? Fewer (or no, in certain cases) hormones and a good long-term solution for people who want to be child-free.

          Though I’ve heard of docs denying those to younger women as well.

          • Sometimes doc won’t give them to women who haven’t been pregs before. About 10 yrs ago, they used them in underprivledged neighborhoods as the number one form of birth control, but learned that teenagers were in too much pain for the procedure.

        • You should have your husband get a vasectomy. I as reading an article not too long ago about how many single men are having the procedure done so they don’t have unintended accidents. And apparently the procedure is VERY reversible if you ever change your minds.

          • I plan on having that discussion with my husband again soon. The closer he gets to 40 the more inclined I think he will get.

          • yes, and it will get you of the pill… which isn’t all that great to take after 35 anyway (i’m 36 and waiting for my doctor to pull me off, but i’m happy with it)… and I hear you about no kids. I’m childless and totally happy about it. I borrow my friends kids, they’re adorable and hilarious and don’t live with me 🙂

    • Well-informed is what I meant. Oops.

    • We are also childfree, and have been married 12 years. Family has not pressured much, mostly MIL looking longingly at babies during family events and then pointedly at us. Friends don’t seem to care, but they do totally disappear once they have kids, and even seem sheepish about telling us they are expecting, as if we would try to talk them out of it! I find that if I say “we’re child free” when people ask if we have children it pretty much ends the line of questioning, and since I have gotten closer to 40 I get much less of the “you’ll change your mind” crap.

      Today’s Post had a column about how 43% of women in gen X (33 – 46 by their count) don’t have kids, and chalked it up to the economy over the past 25 years. Honestly, for us, it’s because we don’t like kids, and can think of about 100 reasons why having them would be an unpleasant experience for us.

      Hang in there, and as your newly-wed and fertile-aged status goes away, you will be hassled about it a whole lot less.

      • It is nice to hear from someone whose has had similar experiences and made it past them.

        I have been tempted at times when people want to press the issue to reply, “We can’t have children”. That would quite them right up.

      • Do you have many child-free friends? We’ve been married 2 years and I feel like people in DC are either 1) single or 2) partnered w/kids. Not much inbetween. We don’t have any roots here so it has been hard to make friends to begin with, but we don’t know anyone else in our situation. But it’s not like we’ve looked that hard, either…

        • We really don’t have too many friends who are married and also without children. My husband is in his late 30s so many of his friends already have kids. Alot of my marrried friends have recently had children or are actively trying.

          Our problem is rooted in the fact that my husband’s job moves us every 2 to 3 years. We will be moving overseas next year and I know that things will be even more trying for me as a great majority of foreign service wives are stay at home moms.

          I just want to have friends we are compatible with!

          • “I just want to have friends we are compatible with!”

            I’ve sort of given up on that. I can’t even find fellow atheists, it’s so depressing.

        • At this point most of the friends we socialize with regularly who are without kids are either younger and haven’t gotten there yet, or are older and either never had them or they are empty nesters. We do have plenty of “facebook friends” who have had kids and who we almost never see anymore. DHa nd I met in a car club, and there were a number of child free couples, which perhaps helped us not second guess ourselves when we were newly married.

      • I’m only six months away from hitting 50, and I still get the “You’ll change your mind” and “Not yet, you mean” comments. People I’ve encountered in Africa, Asia, and South America look at me with puzzlement and pity when I explain that I’d rather see the world than have kids. I had a great childhood, but have no desire to live through Girl Scouts, the teen years, and so forth all over again.

        • You are so right about that. We have a trip to India planned next year, and I was considering coming up with a story to cover “why no kids?”, but my husband insists on just saying we didn’t want any, which will seem super odd to people we meet there. Oh well. Just wait until they find our we are also atheists.

          • Can’t be any harder than my experience traveling there in a lesbian relationship and having people trying to set my partner up with an arranged marriage. 🙂

          • “we are also atheists”

            wait, we should be friends! or maybe you can tell me where I can find other atheists?

          • I sense an atheist child-free-by-choice POP happy hour in the making. Count me in.

      • “Honestly, for us, it’s because we don’t like kids, and can think of about 100 reasons why having them would be an unpleasant experience for us.”

        I think that’s always been true for many women, but it’s only until recently that not having kids has really been an option.

        • You are right, and I said that because so often it seems like the PC statement is “I LOVE kids, but I don’t want any because XXX”. We really DON’T love kids, and will tolerate them in the room for the sake of getting to see certain friends once or twice a year, but that’s it.

      • It’s so nice to hear from people who are happy and satisfied with life sans kids! Ever since I was about 13 I have not wanted children.

        I’m 25 now and still feel that having children isn’t going to happen. I’m always sure to tell people I date that I’m not planning on having kids. Now that I am older, when I mention this to friends they start in with the “That’s so selfish! Why not?!, You’re going to regret it one day!” and I’m not even married!!

        Thanks for the notes of confidence. I know I won’t have children and IF my biological clock goes off, there are so many wonderful kids in the world who don’t have parents that I can adopt!

        • It always baffles me when people say that not having kids is “selfish”. I just don’t see how it’s selfish, who are you depriving by continuing just to live your life??

          • Me too. Sometimes I think it’s more selfish to have kids than not, *especially* for those that don’t want kids. What could be worse for a kid to grow up unwanted?

    • As the father of one with another on the way, I say bravo. Don’t let anyone pressure you into having or not having children. I have no idea why anyone, including family and friends, think that when or how many children I choose to have is any of their business. Having children completely changes your life and if people don’t want that, it won’t change it for the better and that’s not good for you, your spouse, or your children. I have an aunt and uncle who have been married 30 years and are proudly childfree by choice and I’ve seen the judgement and comments that others have made. Not right.

      Of course, this advice assumes you aren’t making comments about anyone who chooses to have children…..

      • I am respectful of other people’s decisions regarding children and keep my opinions to myself.

        Though it is trying at times when unruly children are in a restaurant ruining my dinner for me. 🙂

    • Just smile and say “Oh we HAVE children, but we sell them on Criagslist in developing countries as soon as they are born!”

      I just tell my coworkers who have kids that I will never have to send my cat to college, and I am going out to buy stuff with the money I keep for myself. They never have anything to say to that.

    • Having children is a personal choice and no one’s business but the couple’s. However, I can’t help but notice there is a theme of selfishness in some of these comments. “I want to travel; I want to spend my own money; I want to do this and that; I don’t want the burden.” Granted, some people have legit reasons, and having children would be a mistake for some. But I wonder if our society has become so self-absorbed that the idea of taking care of others is just unthinkable because it is inconvenient to ourselves. In other words, we’d rather take trips to Europe and shop at Brooks Brothers than spend the time selflessly nurturing the next generation (biological, foster, or adopted)…

      • Interesting point – but I would say that for many, having children is a selfish choice. I often get “Who will take care of you in your old age?” and other similar questions. I can’t think of anything more selfish than having a child so that you’ll have some to take care of you in your old age (not that there are any guarantees of that happening, anyway).

        People also want to “carry on the family line”, relive their own missed childhood dreams, and have a host of other selfish reasons for procreating.

        Not all childfree people are selfish and not all procreaters are selfish, but its true that some in each category are.

        • I find the couples (especially the women) who choose not to have children tend to be more wordly, have more fulfilling careers, have more education/skills/hobbies, volunteer more, and have more social connections. They are contributing to society just as much as the bearers of the next generation, but in a different way.

          • And sad to think – but those genes would be awesome to pass on! The people who tend to procreate in mass quantites are often not the most desirable genes (in my opinion) and then those who are so intelligent and giving tend not to. Irony.

        • After suffering through teenagers and commiserating with other parents who suffer through teenagers, I personally don’t understand why our species doesn’t die out. ; )

      • i don’t think we have to worry too much about the idea of having children becoming unthinkable.

        there are plenty of people in this world procreating. so what if selfish people like me don’t want any?

        but thank you for your judgement. it’s been noted.

      • I see your point, but I don’t think anyone has made any comments about their justification to not have children that has been selfish. All anyone has said is that they don’t care for children and as a result don’t want to have any.

        The next 15 plus years of my marriage will involve the stress and upheavel of moving every 2 or 3 years all over the country and world. This means little time to plan and sometimes living is some not so nice places. I look forward to this challenge, but I would not want to raise a child in that kind of environment that was always in upheavel. I moved a lot as a child and wish I could have had more of a stable childhood. My decision to not have children is partly rooted in that. If that is a selfish reason so be it.

        • Anonmyous 10:51 did say that childfree people are selfish.

          • You are right, they did. But prior to that no one who is without children by choice gave, in my opinion, a selfish justification to not having children. They seem to have some preconceived notion that all people who choose to not have children are doing so for purely selfish reasons.

          • I’m anonymous 10:51. I did not say that everyone in this category is “selfish.” I know some that should never have had children, had them anyway, and it turned out to be a mistake. I’ve known others who have no kids, and we can thank the heavens for that. That said, there is still an unmistakable theme here and in the real world (the people I know). After all, one of the commenters here said: “I am going out to buy stuff with the money I keep for myself.” That kind of speaks for itself.

          • People usually make remarks like “I am going out to buy stuff with the money I keep for myself” when they’re trying to list positive things about not having kids. I don’t think it’s fair to interpret this selfishly. It would be different if someone said, “Oh, I’d love having kids, but honestly, I’d really prefer to vacation in the south of France.”

            If anything, _having_ a child is potentially the more selfish action. For example, I don’t think either of my parents was really all that well suited to be a parent. When this happens, it’s the kid that suffers.

            Nobody chooses to be born. People who are going to be parents need to work really, really hard to make sure that they’re not selfish and that they _do_ give their kids the love kids require.

      • MsNesbitt

        I’m not quite sure I understand your definition of “legit reasons and having children would be a mistake for some.” I think any reason is a legitimate reason. If you aren’t in the mindset to “selflessly nurture” children, it seems to me that you would be doing a disservice to both yourself and that child if you had to raise a child because that’s what we’re “supposed” to do. In a world that faces overpopulation, I think it’s smart and UNselfish to know yourself well enough to recognize that raising children is not the best thing for you OR for a child. My two cents.

      • Every childfree couple has had someone say this to them. Congratulations.

      • this is also a good point.

      • “the idea of taking care of others is just unthinkable because it is inconvenient to ourselves”.

        You know, I do find it unthinkable. The idea that I would have to completely subordinate my desire to do what I want, when I want to those of someone else for 20 years is physically repellent. Certainly, I don’t have to have everything my way at work or in my marriage, but I have zero interest in bringing into my life a situation where there isn’t even the chance to negotiate.

      • why is that selfish? it’s the same thing as people who want kids that want the unconditional love, they want to shape another human being, they want to experience it. the kid never asks for it.

        besides having kids in inherently selfish… people want to make a little, better version of themselves. and this comes from someone with a serious case of baby fever right now.

        • not having a car is selfish too.

          • It is! Because you know at some point you’re going to need a ride or special accomodations from someone.

            The most selfless people are the ones with pickup trucks– they have to help everyone move. 🙂

          • Emmaleigh504

            Unless you have a POS pickup truck, then you just hand them the keys and don’t have to lift a finger!

    • andy

      I love my son, but there are a billions of people who will carry on with the human race when we’re not around whether or not each and every one of us has kids.

    • houseintherear

      You need a new doc! I am only 30 and do not want to have biologically for a number of personal and health reasons, mostly because I’m adopted and want to continue the legacy of adoption in my family. My doctor and I have already discussed sterilization options, and she is open to fulfilling my wishes when I am ready. No doc should force their opinion or doubts on you in any situation!

      (I go to Dr. Claudia Taubman, at OB/GYN and Associates in Silver Spring. It’s worth the metro trip.)

      • I go to her too–she’s FANTASTIC….

        • Thanks for the suggestions. I love my GYN, but will look into her if mine isn’t willing to discuss the subject again in a year or so.

      • Totally agree with this! It is not your doctor’s decision; it’s yours. It appalls me that in this day and age a doctor would refuse a woman’s request for sterilization. Like you are too stupid to know what you want. Argh!

        And as the parent of a young son who I love very much, I want to say “Yay!” for all of you who have made the decision not to have children. Only those who really, really want children should have them because it is not an easy job. For those of you who choose to remain childfree, enjoy sleeping in and doing whatever you want with your time and money. And you are not being selfish. You are doing the right thing.

      • why do you need a GYN if not planning on having kids?

    • I’ve been reading all the responses to this with interest – I don’t have kids, would like one or two, but would also be perfectly happy without.

      Just a thought – what you are taking as people not being supportive might not be that (who cares if they ‘support’ any of your decisions anyway?) as much as them not understanding it. Although not unheard of, I still think it is an unusual thing for someone so young to be in a traditional relationship but also to be 100% against ever having kids (to the point where you want to sterilize yourself.) I think there have been enough cases where people said they would never have kids but then did that you should cut other folks some slack for thinking it’s a possibility with you.

      Having said that, people who you’re not close to shouldn’t feel entitled to opine on your decisions.

      • Some people’s comments can border on harassment. If someone asks me if I have children and I rely “no” then that should be the end of that discussion. In my experience, it rarely is. It is usually followed up with a bevy of questions that are often of a very personal nature. I am not asking for anyone’s support regarding my decision, I just want them to respect it and leave it alone. I never launch discussions about my choice to not have children and only bring it up when pressed. I lost a person who I thought was a friend over this decision and have a handful of coworkers who consistently ask if I have changed my mind or I had gotten pregnant yet. I simply want it to be a non-issue in my adult relationships and unfortunetly a lot of people won’t let it.

        At 29 and with a husband who is 39 I can unequivocally say that I never want to rear children. I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. Some may think that sterlization is an extreme option, but it makes sense to me. I do not want to run the risk of ever becoming pregnant which would result in me having to make decisions I never want to be faced with. If either my husband or I changed our minds regarding this issue we would end up getting divorced, that is how strongly we both feel about this issue. I can cut people slack for thinking I may chnage my mind, but the problem is people rarely just think it, they say it to me…constantly. That is why I get frustrated about the issue.

        • Well you did use the word ‘support’ in your initial post. And by taking such a strong stand you are almost certainly piquing the curiosity (or worse) of a lot of people (witness the current thread.) You want it to be a non-issue, but for most people the discussion of having (or not-) kids is an ongoing (recurring?) one, not a forbidden one; unfortunately some folks just can’t resist having the discussions they want you to have.

        • Also yes, I don’t get people who can’t just take a simple answer to a question and then move on. My strategy is to give them one word answers and stare at them oddly in the ensuing awkward silence.

    • I see lawyers in the future.

    • Good for you, save the planet, there are already too many humans polluting everything. We’ve got 2 and god damn is it hard work.
      Why doesn’t your husband just get a vasectomy? Is he planning to have kids, just with somebody else?

      • Ha! No kids on the side for him. Mostly boils down to the fact that he needs to get over his male ego and come to terms that he would be ‘shooting blanks’ I am guilty of not pushing the subject as my current birth control method is working fine. I am on year-round birth control and sometimes think I don’t want to give up some of the obvious benefits it offers. But in the long run sterilization would save money and prevent any side effects birth control can cause.

        • yeah, that male ego thing is total bs. I’d see right through that if I were you. he wants YOU to make the commitment to be childfree, but not himself. it’s A LOT harder and more dangerous for you to mess with your sterilization than it is for him. he’s being selfish or he’s just not ready.

    • Why does everyone think they have to procreate? A lot of people I know shouldn’t, quite frankley. The gene pool is getting awfully shallow. Stop having children just to have children. Also, don’t have more kids than you can afford.

      • I think because the vast majority of people feel that biological pull really strongly. personally, I’d love to know I didn’t want kids. I feel like I could accomplish more in life and be happier. but unfortunately I can’t change these really deep feelings.

      • Amazing how much of the need to self-justify goes away with age (and kids).

  • MsNesbitt

    Rant: My eyelid won’t stop twitching. Plus, I feel the beginnings of a migraine setting in. Ouch!

    Rave: Exchanging flirtatious smiles with a stranger on the metro this morning. What a way to start the day!

    Rave: Put on a dress that I haven’t been able to wear in over a year and it fits again! Woo hoo!

    Rave: Some of the people I work for are so nice – always appreciative of the work I do, provide me with positive feedback, etc.

    Rant: I am bored as all get-out at work. This is an administrative job that is supposed to just get me through grad school, but I feel completely underutilized. I used to manage big projects and oversee teams of people and now I provide admin support to folks who are don’t know me well enough to understand my capabilities beyond PDFing documents or sending faxes. I am glad these people appreciate the work I do, but I want to laugh when they profusely thank me for photocopying an invoice.

    Rave: After several months of unemployment, I am thankful to have a job – even if I feel totally unfulfilled. And hey, once I’m through grad school, I can begin to look for jobs that make me feel like I’m actually doing something worthwhile!

    • what are you going to grad school for? i have been doing admin thing for way too long, and NEED to get out of it. i’m just having a hard time choosing a field in which to go back to school.

      • MsNesbitt

        Higher education administration – working with students has been incredibly rewarding for me in my past non-profit work. It wasn’t until I learned I would be laid off from a job that I realized what I would miss most about that position (the student interaction). Figure out what, at your present job and in your non-professional life, makes your brain tick and makes you smile, and go from there. Good luck!

    • On the upside, at least they’re thanking you. Many people in admin positions don’t get that courtesy.

    • your first two raves made me smile! love it

  • Rant – More rain.
    Rant – Neighbors in the building. No one would even dare look at you to say hello or smile or anything. 90% are so freaking rude, I can’t stand it. Need a friendlier neighborhood I think.

    Rave- at least it’s friday.

    • Friendlier neighborhood = the midwest. 🙂

      • Yes, indeed! I’ve lived all over this wonderful country, and Midwesterners are the friendliest (especially those from the smaller towns). If you run into a really nice person on the streets of DC, chances are you just ran into a former resident of the Midwest.

        • not by my count.

        • I disagree with you on your last point. (No, I haven’t done a scientific survey.)

        • I spent a summer in North Dakota (haivng spent the previous 20 years of my life in the NJ/Philly area) and it was almost unnerving how friendly the people were.

          • andy

            people say something like that people from the Northwest are particularly nice. and then there are those who say southerners are the friendliest. so lots of people are friendly, not just midwesterners.

          • I’m a southerner who went to school in the midwest. While southerners are friendly, there’s something more genuine and hospitable. I could tell the difference the second I crossed the Mississippi River into St. Louis.

          • I meant to say more genuine and hospitable about midwesterners. I also noticed it in Chicago.

          • Southern women are the worst! Have you ever seen the Real Housewives of Atlanta? Oh yes, they might be nice to you at first but you know that soon someones weave is coming out!

          • OUch. I think I was just insulted.

        • As someone who grew up in a small midwestern town, I call BS. People in small midwestern towns are “friendly” when you are one of the chosen few who’s family has lived in the town for 100+ years, and/or when they want to know all of your private business.

          Sorry–I hate small towns and the midwest with a passion, and the whole “they’re so friendly” shtick gets really, really old.

          • I’m a born and bred New Yorker, and I ALWAYS say good morning, hello, smile, etc to ALL of my neighbors, even the noisy annoying ones. I don’t think it matters where you are from…some people interact and some prefer not to.

          • ny’ers, especially ones before the 1970’s, back when nyc was the largest city in the world, are the friendliest people i’ve ever met.

          • Funny, TEM, that’s more or less what I think about the south where I grew up.

          • I’m a midwesterner…I find us to be very reserved. Friendly, but only up to a point.

        • I’m friendly and I’m from DC.

      • based on your posts, you definitely seem to prefer it.

      • Wrong. Texas has the nicest people.

      • My parents are both from the Midwest, and I went to school in the Midwest, and I must agree that Midwesterners are very friendly.

        A find that a good barometer of friendliness is whether or not people hold doors open for one another, and if so, for how long.

        Midwesterners will almost always hold a door open for someone behind them. Here in the District, many people will let the door slam shut in your face.

        I always hold the door for people, and rude people who don’t piss me off. I usually give them the evil eye.

        Chicago is super-friendly. People will randomly chat with you in elevators.

    • Any possibility they are shy, rather than actually antisocial?

      I used to think people in my building were antisocial, but I’ve come to the conclusion that most of them are shy. Even shyer than I am, which is pretty shy!

      • that’s a good point. i am rather shy myself, and people have told me that it seems i have an attitude when really i am just socially awkward. so could be the case, i don’t know.

    • Welcome to DC. Not sure where you are from, but people are not overly nice to strangers here in general. There’s some social axiom in play that discourages people from interacting with strangers on a wide scale. Next time you walk up the street notice how few people look you in the face, much less the eyes. It’s the complete opposite where I come from but I’ve learned to accept it and focus on the few kind souls with which I’ve become close. Not sure why it’s this way, perhaps it’s the crime or the long cold winters spent indoors that inspires this behaviour.

  • Rant: Last night a checkout clerk at the store thought I was my girlfriends mother. That sucked.

    Rave: Friday actually got here! Long week.

    • Over the summer my husband ran in a 5K. I was near the finish line and took his picture as he was finishing. A man next to me saw me taking a photo and said “is that your son?”. Um….My husband is balding and 6 years older than me. I HOPE I don’t look like his mom!!!

      • Admittedly, my girlfriend is a few years younger, but by no means could I pass for her Mom! How did folks somewhere along get it that those are not nice things to say? Along the lines of asking if one is pregnant or not, right?

        • Totally. And that is why I never ask questions like that. It’s too easy to be rude and ruin someone’s day. I always figure that if someone wants me to know something then they will tell me!

    • When we were buying our house the home inspector thought my girlfriend and I were sisters, even though I’m white and she’s Indian. Sometimes I think people just see what they want or expect to see.

      • This made me laugh out loud. 🙂

        • Oh, it gets worse. Before we realized his mistake he asked me what my sister did for a living. I assumed my girlfriend or the realtor mentioned I have a younger sister, so I replied, “Well, she used to teach middle school but then they cut a lot of teaching positions in New Jersey so she’s currently unemployed.” I’ll bet he was wondering how an unemployed middle school teacher could afford half of a $750,000 house!

        • Me too. My partner and I got that a lot and look nothing alike. Sometimes we just said yeah, we’re sisters. wink, wink.

          • I’ve been guilty of this white lie too! I once got a question from a relatively young kid on the beach before (something about my boyfriend’s relation to me) and I just said we were brothers.

  • Rave: Late night burrito with extra beans and jalapenos
    Rant: The inevitable repercussions

  • Rave: Coffee-soaked slow cooker beef sirloin for dinner. Not sure how this will turn out, but I like trying new things.

    Rave: American Horror Story. How do they get away with that on basic cable?

    Rant: Very hard to get out of bed this morning.

    • me

      Let us know how it turns out- it sounds really yummy!

    • Emmaleigh504

      Yes please let us know how that turns out! I always like hearing about new recipes.

    • This might be a good candidate for a PoP recipe of the week. Make sure to take a photo!

    • andy

      Does the caffeine come through? It would be interesting to consider other methods of getting my daily dose(s).

      • I’m not sure. I would imagine that it’d be pretty negligible, considering it’s only about a cup and a half of coffee for the whole thing.

    • This will probably expose me as a total wuss, but I watched half of the first episode of American Horror Story (in the middle of the day!) and got so freaked out that I couldn’t watch the rest of it. That was this past weekend and I am still having creepy flashbacks. Am I the only one who found it really scary?

      It’s a shame too, because I kind of want to find out what happens.

  • Rave: The possibility of Georgia Ave moving to the front of the streetcar line.

    Rant: The likelihood that even if that pans out it will be 2020 before I see a streetcar on Georgia Ave.

  • Rave: Maybe getting closer to putting in a bid on a place and becoming a first time homeowner!
    Rant: The same stupid questions at work that are asked multiple times.
    Rave: Finally Friday!

  • me

    Rave: Just had an awesome meeting with a Partner at my firm, who really liked the work I’ve been doing and has tapped me to help with another project.

    Rant: The person I’m currently working with (who is my level) has a crazy idea that I’m her assistant and treats me as such. She’s not happy with this relationship I’ve been building with the partner. But, she can bite me. 🙂

  • Rant: When I complain about work to friends I am told “at least you have a job.” We really need to turn that thinking around. Employers today are fortunate to have hard working, dedicated employees who put in long hours despite stagnant wages and ever decreasing benefits at increasing costs.

    • true, but you shouldn’t complain. nobody wants to hear it and you’ll feel better if you don’t.

    • I second this. I know it’s great I’m busy at work and have a job and all that jazz. But, you know, sometimes I like doing things other than working non-stop. Hearing “that’s a good problem to have” and “at least you’re working” are dumb comments.

      • i’ll bet you wouldn’t feel that way in the unemployment line.

        • It’s not a line anymore– you do it all online!

          There are drawbacks to both. I liked being unemployed, in a way, even though I had to budget a lot more and there was always that feeling of uncertainty. But I really did enjoy applying for jobs, imagining myself in various positions, and then going out to see the worksites in person when I was called in for interviews. I traveled all over the region and met lots of interesting people on those interviews. Job fairs and networking events, though mostly worthless for the job search, were still fun as well. I even got a free trip to Las Vegas for a hiring event. I was still practically on a full-time schedule, with all the applications and interviews and such, but it was a lot less stifling than being in the same office every day.

  • binntp

    Rave: Work very quiet today; few people in office.

    Rave: All the lovely fellas I’ve seen on the S-buses this week. Great eye candy!

    Rant: Said fellas were too engrossed in their smartphones to catch my flirty glances

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: My apartment is damp because I left the windows open yesterday.

    Rant: A guy who was hanging out under my apartment building’s awning during the rain last night blew me a kiss after I was inside and the elevator door was closing. It really pissed me off so I flipped him off. I think he works at my building and that pisses me off even more.

    Rave: New vacuum is so awesome. I’ve named him Maurice because he is so awesome.

    • andy

      so, where should the line be drawn? Girl on Kansas wants to offer flirty glances – but blowing a kiss is lame? To be acceptable should the gesture be hands-free?

      • Emmaleigh504

        I didn’t find it lame I found it offensive.

        Maybe he should have said hi when I walked up the walk, or walked past him and said hi. He waited until I was past him and inside and the elevator door was closing. It pissed me off because it seemed to me he knew what he was doing was going to offend me so he waited until it was safe. I wasn’t likely to come back out in the rain and beat his ass as much as I felt like it.

      • Emmaleigh504

        Also, if it’s the guy I think it is, he comes into my apartment when I’m not home to do things like check the smoke alarm battery. Now I wonder if he’s also checking my underwear drawer.

        • Maybe not a great idea to flip off someone who you think has access to your apartment.

        • andy

          Sorry, I didn’t mean to say lame to say anything other than “bad.” I just saw several posters write about flirtation and then another one – yours – which sounded similar but got such a negative reaction!

          It sounds like you have a lot of context with this guy that is very, very, bad in fact. I would not want some guy randomly coming into my house on his own for ANYTHING! Maybe the guy has a boss you can inform about his offensiveness. Or you can figure out which car is his and, well, do something that seems appropriate in the circumstances.

          • Emmaleigh504

            I don’t usually get so pissed off about stuff like this, but the fact that he waited until I was inside and away from him made it offensive.

            I’m not positive it’s the guy that works in my building because I don’t see that guy often and he’s usually so nice and professional. I do get warnings when they come in to inspect the smoke alarm, so I think next time I’ll ask who is going to do it.

          • Emmaleigh504

            Did I mention I got a new vacuum? It’s aweseome! 🙂

          • andy

            sounds like it really sucks!


          • Emmaleigh504

            Boy, does it! 🙂

  • Rave: Going to Boston for the weekend to spend time with some great friends 🙂
    Rant: Concerned about the weather for my flight later.

  • Rant: Didn’t close the kitchen window all the way before leaving this morning. (The A/C is broken, and it was a little warm last night). Am now at the office looking out the window, watching sheets of rain pounding the building.

    The kitchen window is open only a few inches; I’m hoping that only the windowsill will get wet.

  • Rant: I want it to stop raining outside! I’m determined to start running for the first time in my life. I got in one day and now everytime I get suited up to go outside it’s raining. I guess I should just go ahead and deal with it. Can’t jump on a tread mill because I don’t have a job and no money for a gym membership. I’ll keep trying!

    • Just run in the rain, no reason not to. As long as you’re dressed warmly enough what does it matter if you get wet? Presumably you’re going to sweat and then take a shower afterwards, right?

      (Do be extra cautious of traffic though; vehicle traffic can get extra crazy in the rain and drivers may not be able to see you as well as in clear weather.)

    • andy

      If it’s rainy when you’re running you won’t sweat as much!

      when i’m on my running game i obsessively check weather.com’s hourly weather and the weather maps. I often find a 30 minute window without rain to get out there even on rainy days.

    • My activities are biking (which I can’t do because I’m scared of slick roads and the seat’s all wet now) and swimming (which I can’t do if there’s a storm because then the aquatic center shuts down).

  • Pretty easy to identify a bike when there’s a picture of it in the post, no?

  • Rave: no work today.
    Rant: no school for the young ‘uns either.
    Rave: found a community service project to occupy them for six hours (posting on Wednesday for volunteers to collect food for the food bank).
    Rant: rain all day, and I haven’t done jack at home. Need to get over my PoP addiction.

  • Rant: I dreamt last night that I hooked up with an ex-boyfriend. We broke up years ago.

    Rave: I didn’t actually hook up with my ex-boyfriend.

  • The ‘selfishness’ argument for not having kids is a bogus one. Choosing not to have children is no more selfish than choosing to have children.

    Actually, having children is perhaps the most selfish act of all: the idea being to create a new version of yourself and pass your selfish genes to further generations.

    I don’t care for children, and I wish people would have fewer children in general. The world is already overpopulated as it is.

    But by all means, have more children. In twenty years, when I’m retired with no kids, your kid can clean my swimming pool.

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