Bloomberg News: Dating in DC an ‘Intellectual Meat Market’

Photo by PoPville flickr user Blinkofanaye

Thanks to a reader for sending the Bloomberg Article ‘Intellectual Meat Market’ Makes Washington Long Odds for Single Women:

Christy McConville has some advice for women in Washington who are frustrated with the dating scene in the nation’s capital: Leave town.

For women like McConville, it’s not just the fixation on work, it’s the odds: Washington has the highest ratio of women to men compared with all 50 states — 112 females for every 100 males, Census Bureau figures show. Among residents between ages 20 and 39 in the city of 601,723, women outnumber men by 13,716, up from about 6,000 a decade ago, according to census data.

For those who have lived in other cities – does it seem harder to date in DC?

195 Comment

  • well, many of those males typically sleep around, so there apparently are enough

  • I’m so tired of these articles about people jaded from dating in DC. They just find people who agree with the already decided thesis: that DC is a workaholic town and people only care about where you work. Yes there are people like that and if that’s what you want than great. But if that’s not what you want it’s not like this is a dating wasteland. Seek out hobbies — other than going to bars — that you enjoy and you will probably meet other people like you. If you continuously have problems meeting people you connect with then at least part of the onus falls on you to get out and meet different types of people.

    • well said. couldn’t agree more. i met my husband in dc and we couldn’t be happier!

    • There’s so much to do here socially, I don’t understand why people think that you’re boxed in to talking about your job/degree(s). Go dance, go hear music, go watch outdoor movies, go play kickball, go play softball, go to museums, go to art exhibits, go to embassy open houses — go do any number of creative, enlightening things that don’t involve stale bar talk or blasting bass beats. With an incessant “nn-tsika, nn-tsika” in the background you’re not going to get potential suitors asking you about your favorite music or movies, you’re going to get a shouted “WHAT DO YOU DO?”

      Honestly, quit blaming the scene, and look at your strategy.

      • The “nn-tsika, nn-tsika” makes me think of that Yello song “Oh Yeah” from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” 😉

    • I agree with your comment J. Also, DC has a large gay white male population. This would be a negative to women in DC looking for a husband or boyfriend.

    • right on. you gotta explore and find the people you connect with. I can’t even remember the last time I ran into anyone (on a date or really in any other social situation) that fits this DC career/education-fixation stereotype. and when I do, I just nod till they stop talking and move on!

  • I’ve actually found it the exact opposite. I’ve received more positive male attention in DC than I have in any other place I’ve lived (Chicago and other parts of the Midwest). Maybe being blond makes me stand out more here? My friends complain that guys in DC are “too short,” and “too nerdy” but, eh, my short, nerdy boyfriend (who I met here) and I totally happy.

    What I like about dating here is that unlike other cities, you know that pretty much anyone you meet at a typical yuppie bar is going to be educated, at least somewhat intelligent, and probably has some sort of interesting job. Much easier to focus on things like comparability and personality when those things are an automatic given.

    Also, what I like about DC is that here guys seem to think I am way cooler than I actually am. I think the culture here can be so conservative and so technical, that if you are even the slightest bit creative or artistic, people think you are REALLY UNIQUE. Haha. I would not be at all cool in New York and San Francisco, but go out in a vintage dress in DC and people think you are soooo “different.” Works great.

    • OK that was a way more detailed response than I intended. But I really do get annoyed with articles like this.

  • What is up with that picture? Was it chosen to show that women have to take what they can get in DC?

    • @SF; According to some studies, educated black women are now dating outside their race looking for a professional educated mate. I’ve seen a lot of interracial couples recently in Washington, D.C.

      • My comment didn’t have anything to do with interracial dating. It had to do with the odd juxtaposition of an attractive woman with a disheveled, heartily beer gutted dude who looks like he just rolled off the couch.

        • I thought the guy was attractive.

          • I thought he was attractive too. In fact, I find the photo a little provocative/sexy. You know what went down shortly thereafter. And I’m pretty sure that woman is middle eastern. Perception is fascinating, no?

        • Looking at the picture, I too thought it was an interracial couple. The woman in the picture appear to be an attractive black female. They look like a cute couple and it’s nothing wrong with a guy having a little beer gut. Wait to some of you guys become 40 and married with children. Most gay males tend to focus on their looks and going to the gym daily. I don’t think heterosexual men go to the gym as much as gay men. It’s hard to find the right mate, female or male. Many married couples aren’t happy. There’s nothing wrong with being single and not having a girlfriend or boyfriend.

        • Ha! I thouhgt the same thing about the photo — specifically, how is that girl not bothered by that guy’s belly when they’re in bed together? She could do way better than him…

          Superficial? Yup! But so what?!?!

          • I think he looks fun. Lots of attractive women are not interested hot guys (seriously!). My longest relationship was with a guy who was around 300 lbs… and I’m 110. 🙂

  • Dating in this town has quirks. Here, you had better be able to cite an article from the WP, with a footnote from foreign affairs, if you expect to keep your conversation during the drink/date going. There is a do not waste my time if you have nothing to offer mentality. At first it’s off putting, but now, if say I travel to Chicago, I find the ladies extremely boring, lackluster, and frankly not worth my time. I think that can apply for the gents as well. I cannot see many of the women in this city being that interested in a guy who talks Phillies baseball while living in a group house with his former college roommates.

    • I think that’s a pretty good synopsis. DC isn’t my favorite place in the world, but I am grateful for the plethora of interesting, single women that live here.

    • Wow, elitist much? I’m from Chicago and am more than able to hold down an intelligent conversation.

      Dating’s hard everywhere. But here it gets particularly tiresome when people yammer on about their jobs.

      • And where do you live? Here right?

        Yes, I’m sure your family and friends back home are intelligent, etc so you don’t have to point them out too as proof that he’s wrong. The fact is there are more people here in DC with advanced degrees (per capita at least) than in Chicago or any other city in the States.

        • I believe Los Alamos has the highest number of doctorates per capita. Los Alamos and Washington are also much smaller cities than NYC or Chicago.

          So, are you saying if you lack a graduate degree you therefore can’t be bright or interesting? Really?

          • Caroline, it’s as if you’re trying to prove jimmysmith’s claim is true about everyone from Chicago.

            1. Ok, great, thanks for sharing that lovely stat on Los Alamos. Way to one-up me and show why a certain DC stereotype exists! 😉

            2. You obviously are a fan of jumping to conclusions. No, of course I am not saying that. That being said, the % of grad degrees is one quantative measure of the brainpower (and/or perhaps ambtion) of a populace. If you have any stats or bits of info that would illustrate that the citizens of Chicago are as bright and as interesting as us lovely people of DC, I’m all ears.

            And for the record, I have no qualms with the Windy City. Lovely city that I really haven’t spent time in as an adult. I’m just agreeing with jimmy’s general assertion.

          • Caroline,
            I have to agree with you. The interesting things in life, the good stuff, and the things to live for you won’t learn them in school.

          • Intriguing comments. I’ve lived in Beijing, Paris, Chicago and DC (showing my true DC colors now) and I’ve actually found the District has the least interesting people of those places.

            Most of them talk out of their ass. No offense.

        • You may (or may not) be statistically right, but it’s jimmysmith’s attitude about the whole thing that I believe Caroline is taking offense to.

          When he says that the women in Chicago (and presumably, other lame cities) are stupid, extremely boring, and “not worth [his] time”, I can almost see him waving them away dismissively with a sneer and a flourish of the hand.

          But of course, everything he does and says is fascinating.

          • +1

            Thanks, TaylorStreetMan!

          • Wow! Just check in. By no means am I waving folks off. Look this cities focus is politics/government/law/policy/ect. That’s what most (majority) of the folks are interested in and employed in. In Chitown, or say, Atlanta, peoples interest are differet. I much prefer the interest here than other places, and in turn find these other folks interest (Wrigleyville) less appealing.

          • Apologies if I took you wrong, jimmysmith, but that’s how your comment read to me.

  • I, and my out-of-town guy friends, call DC the ‘average man’s paradise’. There are a ton of quality women here. They are so smart, and although more conservatively dressed than some cities, often stunning.

    To cap it off, our competition, the average DC male, has zero game. It seems that if you’re just somewhat normal, can hold a conversation and dress yourself, then you’re ahead of the dating game as a single guy in DC.

  • DC is a boomtown if you ask me. Maybe that’s because I’m a guy? But even besides the number, as M said, there are a ton of people here who are well educated, have intersted jobs, etc. Out of the couple dozen women I’ve gone on dates with in the past 18 months or so, every one of them was bright and had an interesting background (either through her work, studies, travels, or a combo of all 3).

    I really don’t know what better place there would be in the States to find people with similar interests to mine. Perhaps if I weren’t interested in politics, IR, etc, I would be singing a different tune.

    • you’ve gone out with 24 women in the past 18 months?

      • Yeah, that’s a guessestimate. The majority of them didn’t go beyond a first date (for a variety of reasons). That seem high (or low) to you? That’s only 1.3 a month.

        • just interesting. i don’t know if thats high or low. when i was single, i always knew if i like a woman before asking her out, so i spent a good couple of hot months burning that out before moving on.

  • It’s funny, every city I’ve lived in people complain about the dating scene there: NY, DC, Chicago, London. Whatever. just put yourself out there, try to find some like minded people and you’ll do ok. Not everyone in this town is some aspiring politico/overachiever who only cares about your resume and salary. There a quite a few down-to-earth people here. if you can’t find them, then you’re not really trying.

    • ro – Having lived in DC for a number of years I find it annoying how people feel the need to give summary on their career and salary in the first ten minutes. Leave it at the office and enjoy yourself.

  • I think DC is a great place to meet people. I have several profiles for women to choose from.

  • The one field where holding an advanced degree counts against you? Dating. Seriously, most of the members of the opposite sex I’ve met here who have advanced degrees and the strange, obscure jobs that go with them, can’t seem to help but talk about it non-stop.

    • Seriously. And 90% of the advanced degrees are in the humanities, which are SUPER BORING.

      Full disclosure: I have an advanced degree in the humanities, and I can’t stand to hear myself talk about it.

      • me

        The absolute worst is when you’re talking to someone, ask what they do, and they say “Oh, I can’t really talk about it. I have a clearance, you know.” Get over yourself! So do I! So do a million people around here! Whatever.

        • Then you understand the concept of “need to know”. Just because you’ve got the clearance doesn’t mean you can access anything you want. Also,do you really think it’s a good idea to be discussing anything classified or SBU in public? You know DC has more spies than any other US city,right? OPSEC.

    • i have a crappy BA from a 3rd tier school.

  • me

    “We talked about guys that we dated over drinks one night,” she said, “and realized we overlapped with five different people.”


  • Yeah, baby! Yeah!

  • DC: Hollywood for ugly people.

  • I met and married my husband in DC, but I met him online while I was living in NYC. Based on experience, I have to agree with the article but I think there are other factors at work.

    One has to do with socical circles. Dating and mating traditionally occurs in close proximity to where a person grew up, so meeting and vetting potential partners happens with greater frequency and/or quality in your hometown–which isn’t DC for most people.

    Another factor is unique to DC, I think, and it’s the unspoken power hierarchy. I didn’t really become aware of it until I lived elsewhere for awhile. You may think you don’t care about it or that your place in it doesn’t matter, but the trick is finding someone else who feels the same way–and who then has all the other qualities you’re looking for. Not easy in a city that attracts strivers the way DC does.

  • These “studies” come out in every major city every year. New York, DC, Boston- always saying that there are too many women and not enough eligible men, so women need to settle. Is it descriptive or is it prescriptive? I think Foucault would have something to say about discourse influencing perceptions.

  • If I can tell someone is you typical “what can you do for me” type I tell them I am an investor. Because the second thing they ask you after your name is “what do you do?”

    It’s a fun social experiment. People in DC treat you very well if they think you are loaded.

    • is that not the case everywhere?

      • Most places people don’t ask me what I do in the first or second question.

        • sorry, i meant isn’t it the case everywhere that people treat other better when they think they are loaded.

          • The difference as I’ve seen in DC is that some people here will immediately stop talking to you if you don’t seem above them in some way.

      • People like that live everywhere but the difference is in values held and their scale. If you go to NYC, you’ll often see stunning, head-turning women with men who look like Jabba the Hut and you can safely assume he’s loaded.

        Values are different in DC. Intelligence, earning power and life goals matter more. I feel pretty strongly that intellectual match-ups are lasting ones and there are more people who feel the same way in DC than NYC.

    • I like that experiment!

      I’ve taken the lazy way out of just writing off anyone who asks me that in the first 5 minutes. It’s a pretty good proxy for a “douchebag test”.

      As a result of this prejudice, many of my friends ended up being African-American or immigrants. It was a lot harder to find other white folks who weren’t so job focused. I did find some eventually, but it took awhile – not the majority, even in “hipster neighborhoods”.

      FYI- I’m a purebred Gringo.

      • El Gringo, it’s ok to say black, not African American. I am a black man who happens to be an American. Jesse Jackson started this African American crap. I use the term blacks.

  • Oy. Straight people.


  • Anonymous: Not jumping to conclusions. Notice I used question marks.

    Other than Chicago having incredibly vibrant arts, music, and dining scenes, no, Chicago isn’t that interesting.

    And that’s the thing about Jimmy’s statement: it’s a blanket assertion. Just like someone saying DC is Hollywood for ugly people. I object to people saying stupid things like people in one town are somehow more intrisicallly boring or less interesting than people in another. Unless you live there, you don’t know. I grew up in Chicago and now live here and I generally avoid making comparisons between the two as they’re both totally different animals. There’s simply no point. Dating—meeting someone who’s a good fit for the long-term—is tough everywhere.

  • I thought I remember reading that NY had the largest population/concentration of single women.

    And, let’s be honest, for people not from the area (who tend to be more intrinsically interesting in my opinion than people who grew up in some strange social strata from DelMarVa, cue flame) this is a self-selecting city that attracts people mostly based on their personalities/ambitions. There is no major industry here besides government and defense. Hence, the comment (ripped from Washington Confidential) about this being Hollywood for ugly people. As a result, if you’ve spent time in any other major U.S. city from Chicago to Salt Lake City, you’ll quickly realize D.C.’s dating problem: lack of talent. Numbers/ratios don’t change the quality.

  • Are there any other guys here who find the average DC woman to be, let’s say, lacking in wifely qualities? I have lived here for 10 years, and I have worked closely with hundreds of women, and I have met only one or two that I regarded as wife material. Now, I write as a married man, so I’m not in the dating pool, but when I look around, I just don’t see much that impresses me.

    I’m sure women have a litany of complaints about the men here, but I’m only speaking for myself (as a man) and what I look for in a long-term partner. Maybe I’m picky, and maybe I’m writing from a comfortable perch of domesticity, but I suspect that if I were single, I’d play the field a lot and be reluctant to commit to any one woman for the long term.

    • could you define “wifely qualities”?

      • Simmer down, nettie.

        I’d be willing to bet that it’s the same thing women mean when they talk about men who are (or are not) “marriage material”. I am not a bolt of fabric.

        • “settle down”? really? I mean if I had said something to the effect “wtf do you consider wifely qualities, you chauvinist pig” I think I would deserve a rebuke. I’m not the only who wants to know what “wifely qualities” are….broad hips for easy breeding? ability to manage household servants? fellatio?

          • Implied behind your request for him to clarify what he means by “wifely qualities” is basically all the hot buttons just spelled out. You wouldn’t be asking if you weren’t teetering on the edge of being offended.

            Like when someone asks, “What do you mean ‘those people’?”

            I agree it was a weird choice of words for him to use (and he’s dug the hole much deeper for himself down the page!)

          • yes he has. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt…that his “wifely qualities” would be the ability to stand on her head, or whistle dixie or write poetry or something.

          • OK, now you’re just making me laugh! 🙂
            I believe we’re on the same page.
            I apologize for the “simmer down” remark.

          • I always thought fellatio was more of a girlfriend quality

    • “lacking in wifely qualities”

      I’d actually argue that average women here are more lacking in one-night-stand qualities/attractiveness.

    • In my experience, I see A LOT of reluctance to settle down from gentlemen. Maybe I’m not wifely material, but… huh… I *think* I am.

      Oh well.

    • “Maybe I’m writing from a comfortable perch of domesticity…”

      No, I think you’re writing from a 3rd world women-as-chattel high horse. You’re not interested in a partner, you’re interested in an employee (at best).

      • I’m sorry you feel so alone.

      • That’s the attitude that keeps you single:

        “I’m a catch because I’m so smart. “Those” women are stupid and you’re a pig for wanting to marry her.”

        • No, that’s the attitude that comes from being in a long marriage with a real man, one who is interested in my human qualities, instead of my wifely qualities.

          I can’t image referring to a man as a “good provider” or some such anachronism in this day and age. Perhaps when extolling his husbandly qualities, I should be sure to point out that he doesn’t hit me?

          • He clearly doesn’t hit you. And maybe that bothers you on some level. Something must bother you to take such offense over someone else’s honest opinion. I have found that the louder a woman shrieks over a comment, the closer the comment has come to the truth. Let’s all get hysterical and indignant over terms like “wifely” and “feminine.”

    • Absolutely. Not every man who’s successful is also looking for another professionally “successful” partner. Some are, but many aren’t. A lot are looking for a personally “complimentary” partner who fills the holes in their personal life.

      Two things work against women 1) people don’t come to DC unless they’re professionally “successful” so there aren’t really a lot of women here who’s lives exude compatible/complimentary life skills. 2) Most professionally “successful” women are looking for men who are MORE successful than themselves. It severely limits your pool.

      • Yes- too many mannish women in DC!

        and Yes, Women don’t ‘marry down’ (in terms of class) as men do.

        Also, I think that there are too many people who cannot think beyond their job and cannot stop bragging about what daddy owns!

    • I too am wondering… what are “wifely qualities”?

  • “112 females for every 100 males”. The matter gets further complicated by a high ratio of gay polulation in DC. 😛

  • Care to elaborate on what you consider those qualities to be? Hard to comment on something that general.

  • That last comment was intended as a response to cabellero’s “wifely qualities” post.

  • As a woman in my 20s, I found moving to DC from Austin, Texas to be a dating paradise. I went from being a reasonably attractive woman who struggled to find dates with decent guys in TX to usually one of the best looking women in the room here who had to beat attractive, well accomplished men off with a stick. And now I am happily engaged to one of them. Not trying to sound conceited, but there is a very noticeable difference in the attractiveness level of women in DC and many other cities. So it doesn’t take a lot to be considered “hot” by comparison. I think a lot of it just has to do with how women here dress and take care of themselves. So really, if you wear something half way fashionable, throw on a little make-up and at least comb through your hair, you can easily be at the top of the dating pool!

    • Unfortunately this is very true

    • I found the exact same thing to be true. I never thought of myself as super attractive until I moved here. It’s kind of gone to my head. 🙂

    • I totally agree. I found the same thing when I moved from the south. Go ahead and make your jokes, but generally speaking, a “hot” girl up here is just a “cute” girl down south.

    • Very true

    • Oh crap. I felt moderately attractive when I lived in Madison or Chicago, but once I moved to DC I felt like I couldn’t compete and I now just fade into the background. Either I did something terribly wrong or it’s a Midwest/South thing (i.e., Southern cute = DC hot; Midwestern cute = DC wallpaper).

      But you know, whatever. The world keeps turning.

      • binpetworth

        I feel ya, Wanderer.

        As a self-described Plain Jane, I’ve never felt I could compete–neither in the Midwest (not blonde or tall enough) nor here.

        But I console myself by saying that I’m quite frankly not interested in pretty boys in any regard…give me Steve Buscemi over Brad Pitt any day! 🙂

      • Yep, I’d have to agree with that. Kinda sucks huh?

    • And THIS is why I always say DC is a fantasy world.

      When I lived in Asia girls were falling all over me (boy that sounds conceited), but I KNEW it was all a painted veil masking the truth. Asian women born in Asia tended to find caucasian males attractive, whether they were or not. Other guys walked around like they were God Almighty, it was enough to make one ill.

      Next time you see an Asian girl with a white male just know… That’s you and you’re living in an illusion.

  • The women in DC, on average, are not very attractive

  • By wifely qualities, I guess I mean traditional feminine qualities: conservative in demeanor and appearance, sweet, nurturing, and caring. Although many women here are professionally accomplished (which is good), many of them are also ball-busters who believe they are tougher than the men around them. What kind of man wants to go home to that every night?

    Too many women here are brash and loud-mouthed, they drink too much on the weekends, and they think I should be impressed with their resume. Many of them are aging quickly, getting too plump for their age (too much booze), and have indiscrete tattoos (which, to my mind, is decidedly unfeminine). And despite their high-minded jobs and inflated sense of entitlement, many of them seem to spend an inordinate amount of time following Hollywood gossip, just like any normal girl from the heartland.

    No thanks.

    • I should add that this refers mostly to American women in DC. Foreign women…now that’s a different matter.

      • Funny you say that. I was about to reply that men like you might want to consider sending for a mail-order bride from overseas. You can’t expect a woman to be professionally accomplished (which you note as good) while being a Betty Draper-casserole-making-bring-a-cocktail-to-the-door-meek-little-mouse.

        • This is the standard response from an American woman (and probably a single one, at that). You associate feminine charm with being a repressed housewife. You should come over to my house sometime, and you can meet my profesionally accomplished and feminine wife; that is, if she’s not working late at the office, which she usually does.

          Lashing out at foreign women is the last refuge of desperate American women. Good luck in your dating efforts.

          • oh good golly miss molly.

          • +10000

            what are you guys having for dinner?

          • To anonymous:

            I do 90 percent of the cooking in my house. I simply don’t understand why, when I mention femininity, people envision a barefoot and pregnant housewife. My wife earns more money than I do, and I do my fair share of work in the home, but my wife happens to act like a traditional and proper woman. She is not scandalous in publidc, she is not a drunk, and she’s not a bossy shrew. Why do people have a problem with this? I guess because their own lives are such a wreck….

          • “not scandalous in public, she is not a drunk, and she’s not a bossy shrew”

            See, as a woman I actually agree with you that these are attractive qualities. I think you’re running into a problem, though, by defining them as specifically “feminine.” By that logic, do you truly mean to imply that it is OK for men to be scandalous, drunk, and bossy?

            I don’t want a drunk, demanding, offensive husband any more than you want that type of wife. Isn’t the word you’re looking for “classy” or “respectable,” not “feminine?” I don’t understand why it is OK for men to behave this way, by your definition, but not women.

            Also I know plenty of trashy, tattooed, incredibly shrewish foreign women. Perhaps we have not lived in and traveled in the same parts of the world?

    • Dude, I think you singlehandedly just pushed this thread over the 100 comment mark.

    • Yeah, women are just thrilled to go home to men who think they are tougher than their partners. We love us some 1950s power dynamics in our relationships.
      After all, men need to be super-tough (and let their women know it) in order to sit in front of the TV and watch other men play games for large sums of money. That’s just nature. Right?

      • I forgot to mention that women in this town lack reading skills. Not you, of course….just generally speaking.

    • Maybe women become “ball-busters” because that’s what you need to do to succeed at work. Sweet and demure doesn’t get you promoted. And they aren’t a lot of homemakers in this town because it’s pretty much impossible to raise a family on one salary.

      • I agree with both of those assertions, but we’re talking about dating. Leave the ball-busting for the office, if that’s where you need it.

      • I’m charmed by ball busters.

        The whole “ball busting” thing is a bit of a misnomer. The more she’s a buster in public, the more she tends to be the opposite in private.

        I respect a woman with a bit of an edge, so long as she’s gives clues as to being a nice person, broadly speaking — nice to wait staff, etc.

    • …and welcome back to the 1950’s everyone. yuck. and no, I don’t have any tattoos, I certainly do not follow hollywood gossip for crying out loud, and my resume is far from impressive. I do have nice tolerance to alcohol (I’ve been working on it), an occasional potty mouth and a general lust for life that I will not give up in exchange for a diamond ring. non-wifely is cool with me!

      • Seriously. Reading stuff like this makes me happy I’m a lesbian. 😉

      • I don’t know much about the 1950s. It’s 2011 in my household right now, and everybody seems pretty happy. I think there is a general lust for life in the air (and between the sheets, for that matter), but there aren’t any diamond rings!

      • grab coffee sometime?

    • Here y’go buddy!

      You’re welcome. (And to DC’s women: you’re welcome.)

  • I can’t tell you how much more I enjoyed dating in DC after I expanded my social circle beyond my friends in the government crowd I met immediately after moving here. Not a knock on them, but it was good to expand my horizons.

    I would bet that many or most readers of this blog have done exactly that, but anyone who hasn’t and is frustrated in DC should consider meeting more friends from all walks of life.

    • what do you suggest? going slumming?

      • Clearly someone who believes that life outside of being an underpaid government tool means that you’re on welfare.

        • I guess I don’t understand how parochial people are when they first move here. I tried to meet as many people as I could when I first moved here. Did this poster just cling to their work friends?

    • Sheesh. What an odd bunch of responses. Slumming is entirely your projection, and it speaks volumes that you would use that term. Project much?

      As for me:

      When I moved to DC, I knew a half dozen people who worked on the Hill, K Street, etc. and for the first six months or so, I spent time with that crowd, even though I work in a completely different environment.

      When Spring arrived, I had more time and motivation to meet new people, many of whom, like me, are not professionally plugged into that scene and I am glad I made the effort to do so.

  • So the question is, what city should the single DC women gravitate to? Where are these rich, well-educated Adonis type guys hanging out? The ratios in my hometown (SF Bay Area) are worse than here!
    For my single friends who are about to give up, I suggest foreign hotties (America’s underexploited resource!), shy computer nerds (easy prey and good hubbie material), and signing up for activities you enjoy anyway like hiking clubs or kayaking.

    • Joke (in honor of nettie):
      What the hell do you mean “good hubbie material”!?

      My wife seems to think I’m ‘good hubbie material’, but I always found those qualities to be a handicap while I was dating. Women don’t seem to appreciate them until they’ve matured enough to recognize them.

      • wtf is “good hubbie material”, you chauvinist piglette? Men are not bolts of fabric.

        • Ha! What a great time for me to log off from this conversation – with a smile on my face!
          Thanks for the laughs, nettie. Give your semi-shy sorta-nerd hubbie and kiss and have a great weekend!

      • I married a somewhat-shy computer nerd who also happens to be a foreign hottie! The best of both worlds!

      • A lot of women, while in their 20s, aren’t interested in hubbie material, so nice guys in their 20s generally are handicapped. The problem some women encounter is that when they do look to settle down, the best guys are taken. That makes dating in DC even worse for those women, and more of a playground for guys in their 30s.

        Women would be wise to find a long-term partner while in their early to mid-20s. It’s a sad fact, but hey, I didn’t write the rules. I’m just an impartial observer.

        • I’m still lost as to how exactly the dating scene is bad for women. As many of us have posted, we’ve found it the exact opposite.

          • Based on my own anecdotal evidence, women are more frustrated with the dating pool here, if anything, because the numbers are skewed against them. There are other reasons, of course, but that’s a whole other can of worms. I will say that as a man, I shudder at some of dudes I see, and I pity the women who have to date them.

        • “Women would be wise to find a long-term partner while in their early to mid-20s”

          Disagree with this. It’s great if it works out that way, but I know lots of women who met their husbands in their late 20s or 30s. I’d agree that women of all ages would be wise not to overlook good guys don’t happen to be exceptionally hot or rich, but I think you should marry when you find the right person and you’re ready, not when you hit a certain age.

          • I know lots of women who have married late as well. True, you might not be ready to marry early, but your market value is higher and your options are greater.

            For the record, I’m not a fan of marriage, but if you are going to do it, waiting until your 30s is a bad strategy to find a mate. The math is against you.

          • You’re not a fan of marriage? Didn’t you say you were married?

            And I guess I just don’t think it’s like people are “waiting until they’re 30” or anything like that, it’s just the way life works out. Grad school, moving around to different cities – marriage doesn’t fit in for most people until later. And yeah, dating might get harder, but not as hard as living with someone you’re not compatible with. And most 25 year old guys aren’t exactly rushing to propose either.

        • ooh, more cliches and myths. these aren’t rules and most certainly not facts, caballero, it’s just your take on this — nothing more, nothing less. these views probably fit where you are in life right now.

          by the way, I was one of those “wise” women who settled down with a great guy in her early-mid 20s. he’s still a great guy, but it didn’t work out. since then, I’ve dated and had a couple of long-term relationships, and never seem to run into the problems described in this article and in your observations.

          let you and those who share your views go with the wifely 20 somethings who think in “hubbie material” terms. I’ll take the broad-minded guys who aren’t looking for me to be a Lucy to their Ricky Ricardo and find my inappropriate sense of humor and drinking habits attractive.

    • You know, unless is it meant ironically, this post is pretty much just as offensive as caballero’s.

      My advice? Stop being shallow and searching for a rich “Adonis-type.”

      It’s a pet peeve of mine when women complain about men being superficial, but think it is OK to do the same thing themselves.

  • Single ladies? Do you allow your group of freinds to determine who you will or will not return that interesting glance back to? Guys still find it hard to know which look is the OK look. Give him a bit more.

    • Grow some balls and go talk to the girl in whom you’re interested. Who cares about her friends? If you know anything about women, you know they’ll drop them at the drop of a hat when it comes to a man. Oh… zing!

  • I can say with confidence that Upper NW (specifically Woodley and Cleveland Park) has about a 2:1 girls-guys ratio in the yuppie demographic. Ridiculous.

  • andy

    how about this? what about dating on the Hill? How about that scene?

    (just stoking the fire. am married to hot wife.)

    • I dunno, everyone I know who lives in Capitol Hill is married or in a long-term cohabiting relationship. I’m sure there are SOME singles there but to me it seems like the place where people go to breed.

  • As a 30 y/o decent looking, nice guy, I find that by the time women appreciate my qualities, I’m not interested in their baggage. Catch-22. I also dislike the fact that there are too many type A, self-interested people.

  • so many of you do not live in the same dc i do.

  • I had an erotic dream last night – about a hunky gray-haired handyman who showed up at my house and fixed all the things wrong!

  • [email protected] Spinster; were you watching reruns from ‘Tales From The Crypt’?

  • As someone in a happy multiyear relationship with someone I met here who is pretty attractive, most of you, men and women, seem to be externalizing and scape goating your failure to find love here on the quality of the dating pool.

    I know plenty of attractive men and women here. Sure we don’t have aspiring models and actors or a deep bench of other glamorous professions, but the truth is most of you don’t stand a chance with those people anyway.

    Honestly, I’m no 10 myself, but I’ve never had a problem dating, and I know plenty of attractive, fun people of both genders to indicate to me all the negative whining is a result of your own inability to compete, probably due to your bad attitude, or your lack of understanding of your own market value.

    So stop blaming the people of dc and painting them with broad brushstrokes and begin a little introspection.

  • If I believed that info in the article, I wouldn’t be married with a family- or maybe I would – in a different city! Many of my girlfriend and clients have found love in DC! It is all about what you are willing to do to find it. My clients have been most successful with internet dating – to find marriage minded singles. You need a plan that will work for you and time to execute it! Also, it’s about who you are open to dating (yes, the nice guys). Good luck with your dating. heartmindconnection (dot) com.

  • Dating is SO much worse in New York.

  • Ridiculous….. have you ever seen his dimples???

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