From the Files of – How Do You Really Feel? Vol. 77

“Dear PoP,

Thought you and your readers would get a kick out of this note that was left on my car.”

Sometimes I have the feeling that there is a lot of anger in our city…

92 Comment

  • What’s ‘ponyous’ parking?

  • Well, how were you parked? Be honest. The note wasn’t left on your car because someone was having a bad day and it was the closest car to them.

  • I’m curious to know how the OP parked to warrant the note.

  • I think they meant “pompous”… haha, that’s classy.

  • How does one park like a “pompous fuck”? Does it have to be a BMW?

    • ah

      May not be “pompous fuck” parking, but I was tempted to leave a similar note for the pickup driver who pulled a U-turn on our side street by backing fully into the tree space/lawn space on one side of the street and then didn’t turn tightly enough that he rode up onto the tree space on the opposite curb to complete his turn.

  • “lol people just need to chill out and not worry about how I park”×164.jpg

  • If the guy who submitted this is because he thought it was funny without contemplating the way in which he parked, perhaps “pompous fuck” isn’t too far off. Just saying.

  • I often dream of leaving notes like this on cars. We live in a city and all want to park near our homes – don’t park like a jack a** and you won’t get notes like this!

    • can we take this opportunity to discuss the use of “pioneer” to describe gentrifiers moving into neighborhoods like h street?

      • what don’t you like about it?

        • saf

          The fact that it has some truly offensive implications? The fact that it is an incredibily classist statement?

          • Tomato – Tomato / Gentrifier – Pioneer

            What about the implications of the word Gentrifier?

            Not every person who is moving into the city is out to get you.

            A little sensitive maybe?

          • people are so sensitive.

          • why are you offended?

          • saf

            Frankie – I don’t much like the word gentrifier either.

            It’s just lazy shorthand that allows all sides to reinforce their opinions about the other sides.

          • saf

            Anon – I am offended by the implications that our neighborhoods are wildernesses to be pioneered. There are people who live here, and have lived here, and continue to live here. “Urban pioneer” says that they don’t exist.

        • It signifies that you are “settling” an area that is so undesirable that noone wanted to live there before. but we’re typically talking about neighborhoods with residents that have been there for decades. it’s offensive, and there are not so subtle racist undertones.

          • Well, there ARE parts of the city where the District government condemned homes, bought them back at tax auctions in which no one bid, and then gave them away via lottery to the “winners.” All this despite people living on the same block for decades before. So it is fair to say that, at least in some instances, no one wanted to live in these places.

      • How about free marketeer?

  • Something tells me this wasn’t completely random. Are you That Guy, who takes up two parking spaces? If so, take a hint.

  • Shinebox makes it easy and convenient to tell turkeys like this OP to park like a normal person:

    I saw these in Urban Outfitters once and couldn’t resist buying them for a friend with a chronic “park-over-the-line”-er!

    • I’m incredibly childish, but those cracked me up.

      Then again, I also dream of having a sign on the top of my car, kind of like the ones on taxis, that would instantly display messages to other drivers: “Did your car come without a turn signal or are you just too stupid to find it?” “Your Escalade isn’t a bike, so get out of the bike lane.” “No effing way am I letting you merge; wait in line like everyone else, you entitled jerk.” (this one on Rock Creek Parkway heading north at rush hour.)

  • People do not know how to park. You can print out notices from this website to give out:

  • my husband and i passed some luxury car on a side street sunday that was horribly parked (half of it was on the curb –at an angle) and there were TWO notes on the windshield. tags were from new jersey. we laughed about it because it was an awful job.

    i almost wrote a note after watching a lady parallel park and park in such an inefficient way that took up space another car could have had. if she had rolled three feet up or back, another car could have parked on the street. it’s a pet peeve of mine when people are not considerate of parking space.

    i don’t think i have an anger problem, just pet peeves. in a city it is easy to step on people’s toes. worth it to go the extra mile and be super conscientious. and on the flip side, ultra gracious whenever possible. tends to cool the fires.

    • Actually, that car was hit on saturday night and the car that hit it flipped over. I can send photos to PoP to post. The rear axel was broken and the car was pushed up onto the curb. One of the notes was from the cop leaving the number of the police report on the accident and the other was from a neighbor offering to send photos if the owner of the car needs them. As of this morning, the car was still there and I don’t think the owners are yet aware of what happened.

      • Prince Of Petworth

        Yes please email to princeofpetworth(at) gmail thanks!

        • PoP — they’re on my camera at home so I won’t be able to do it until I get home from work tonight. I should have thought to send them to you right away, but it didn’t occur to me until I read this post. It was pretty incredible.

          • I would really like to see this as I saw the car as well biking by….

            Didn’t realize it had been hit either!

  • When someone takes the time to write a note to call you out as a pompus f*ck, then you don’t get the hint and think the note writer is worthy of scorn, you sir/madam are a pompus f*ck.

    Learn to park. Or else post a photo when you park next time and said note-writer decides to key your car.

  • OP proves the point. He/she is a pompous ass.

  • I love that we’re already all over the OP without knowing the situation. Srsly?

    My roommate once had someone pull a gun on her because she parked in front of his house. In a non-reserved spot exactly big enough for her car based on how the other cars had parked.


    Or just remember that sometimes people are ever-loving nuts.

    • Yes, it’s possible that the OP did nothing wrong, and that the person who left the note was a nutcase. But it’s not very likely. 99% of the time, when person A gets mad about how person B parked, it’s because person B parked like an a**hole. This could be that other 1%, but I doubt it.

      • But writing a threatening, vaguely insane note about it? I mean, really? This puts the other person more in the NUTSSSSSSSSSSSSS category than the OP.

        Better to jump to conclusions, certainly.

  • maybe you shouldn’t have parked your f-350 diagonal across three spots in the parking garage

  • If OP wasn’t an ass, then they should post a photo or a description of how they parked. Let the communitariat decide if they were an ass or if the note-leaver was.

  • Without context this note makes no sense. Maybe he did park like a jerk maybe he didn’t. Or is this suppose to be a why can’t we all just get along sort of thing?

  • I have always liked this old site, not sure if it is still being updated tho.

  • pablo .raw

    “…and you’ll be sorry” is the part that calls my attention!

  • I was out in Cabin John running this weekend and saw a Porsched pull up and take two spots – so no one would scratch it. I get that – but at least have the courtesy not to park in the two closest spots. DC may have anger issues but it also suffers from a population with poor driving skills and inflated sense of self-importance which when combined make for lots of fun.

  • Churchgoers.

  • I demand context. Only then can I rule on the potentially pompuous fuckitude. I suspect without context or an explanation that the note was probably warranted. I don’t get the comment about paying for parking as well. Need more details.

    And if the original poster could just respond using the name “Pompous Fuck” it would make it much easier for us.

    • If I had to guess – and this is nothing but speculation – this is in a downtown garage where spaces are teeny tiny so that the parking garage companies can squeeze as many $250/mo spaces in there as possible and that the OP may have been parked in such a way as to take up 2 spaces. When I used to park downtown, I saw this a lot… and often thought of leaving similar notes.

      • Sounds like a reasonable guess.

        I would be pissed too.

      • Yup, sounds like some lawyer parked their BMW across 2 spots in the K Street garage and this was the response. Good chance that it wasn’t the first time either if it is a garage situation where everyone parks there everyday. Until different facts are presented, sounds like an entirely justified note to me.

      • The garage in Adams Morgan is like this.

  • Wasn’t DC just voted happiest city in America? 🙂

    I think if you did this in some cities you’d get keyed or worse – sad but true..there are some psychos out there.

    • Keyed or worse is right. People who take up 2 spots or who make it impossible to park need to be taught a lesson. Otherwise it’ll never stop. Obey the obvious and unwritten rules of decency and commonsense, or run the risk of being treated without either.

      The only psycho here is someone who does nothing and continues to condone this crap.

      • Is keying a car REALLY an adequate response to someone who temporarily took up too much space?

        Sure, these people are annoying, but the lesson should fit the crime. If you think thousands of $$ of body work (or a $500 deductible) is appropriate, your ethics are out of whack.

        Plus it teaches no one a lesson in the end, anyway. So all around a really bad idea.

        • some people beat people. some mug. some litter. other people “teach lessons”.

          people who seek to harm are people who seek to harm.

  • The worst parkers are the police. Why do they feel it’s ok to leave their cars in the lanes of traffic on busy streets when they are just standing around on the sidewalk shooting the breeze. They do it all the freakin’ time.

    • I also see parking enforcement people doing that. It is especially infuriating when there is an open parking space that they could have parked in rather than blocking traffic for everyone.

  • What is wrong with you people? Crucifying the OP…bad parkers don’t irk you?

    Perhaps a bat through the window & placing the note on the driver’s seat would be more effective.

    • Yes. Criminal violence = bad parking.

      Fight fire with fire! He took up two parking spaces, string him up! This won’t be tolerated! We’ll show you what we do to bad parkers in this city! You should see what we do to people standing on the left side of the escalators!

      Lighten up people.

  • My old car got keyed once back when I lived in Dupont, and a note was left on the windshield stating that the keying was done because I’m an asshole taking up 2 parking spaces on the street.

    I had not moved my car in a week, and when i’d parked it i was tight as can be between 2 other cars. However, the cars in front of me and behind me had been moved and other cars parked in their place such that it LOOKED like i’d deliberately taken up 2 spaces.

    Truth is, unless you SEE the person parking the car in such a way, you really have NO IDEA whether the person actually intended to be a parking spot hog.

    Just thought i’d throw that out there.

  • as long as we are complaining about bad parkers, how about delivery drivers that will deliver to petworth and will literally stop in the street with the flashers on, typically right in front of an open parking spot or three. i understand why they do this downtown, but c’mon, just pull out of the traffic lane if there is a spot!

  • My friends always complain when they see people who have parallel parked and leave way too much room on either end, essentially making their car’s asphalt footprint much bigger than it needs to be. I always remind them that there’s no way of knowing the car was originally parked in tightly, but other vehicles have since come and gone to create a different appearance.

  • i’ll admit to ignorance that was corrected by a nasty note shortly after moving to adams morgan. i parked a few feet short of the sign at the end of the block. little did i realize at the time that i had created an unparkable space in front of me, and reduced the amount of space for other people on the block to park behind.

    the nasty (yet instructive) note was far more effective than “keying or worse.” it made me think twice about how/where i parked after that. i now scold others for the same (selfish, whether aware or not) behavior. pay it forward.

  • i don’t care if someone managed to park their hummer across 4 parking spots. threats are not an appropriate or amusing response.

  • Well, the OP has yet to defend himself by actually answering how he parked. I’ve wrote ‘pompous’ notes on people’s cars who didn’t know how to park. It may be rude but it’s even more so when people can’t park and take away valuable spaces.

  • If it’s any sort of counterpoint, this sort of thing can be even more ridiculous in the suburbs. Last week I found a note on my windshield (wrapped in a sandwich bag, no less, so as not to get wet) that read: “Please do not park here. We have 4 cars that need spaces.” I’ll not omit the context: I was on a residential side street with no parking restrictions at all, and the house by which I had parked had a driveway big enough for at least 3 cars in which not a single car was parked.

    • Now that is fucking pompous.

    • That’s not the place for you to decide how someone else uses their parking spaces. If they paid for them, they should be able to park their horse drawn carraige if they want, because it’s theirs!!!! Just because you don’t ‘think’ they need all that space, doesn’t give you the right to decide to park there. Maybe they have family coming into town last at nite and need the space? It’s not your parking space, so move!!!!

      • +1 for total lack of reading comprehension

        • Or maybe it’s your writing?

          • No, it’s not. When it is written that a car is “parked on a residential side street with no parking restrictions at all,” you really have all the information you need: First, people don’t own streets, so your assumption that the spot was “their parking spot” is just wrong, as are all the arguments flowing from that assumption (e.g., your entire comment). Second, private parking spots constitute a “parking restriction,” which I specified were absent from the situation. Third (though admittedly this is really more like junior high-level reading), you might infer from what I wrote that there was in fact a private driveway in which I was not parked, a detail you might have contrasted to the public street on which I was parked, which was sort of the point.

            BTW, I wrote the 2:02 Anon, not the 4:06 Anon. I have no idea who wrote that. But that’s another assumption you permitted yourself. F**king pompous, much? And to think I was just trying to tell a “funny parking note” story.

  • This thread has been the most entertaining part of my day. You guys make me laugh!

    Oh, on topic, sure I hate bad parkers. Especially the suburban churchgoers sucking up every open spot and even being allowed to SHUT DOWN ENTIRE LANES. Lookin at you, New Hampshire Ave.

  • “Sometimes I have the feeling that there is a lot of anger in our city…”

    Yes, because there are a lot of pompous f**ks in D.C.

    The “I also have to pay for parking” leads me to believe that this incident occurred in a paid parking lot. Not uncommon to see a “luxury” car splayed across two spaces to avoid collateral damage from other cars parking near. I’ll wager the author of the note knows the person whose car the note was placed on.

  • first world problems

  • To Anonymous at 7:02 PM (Since it won’t let me reply for some reason) Well first you pompous ass, get a more original handle as to not confuse readers as to who is really talking. This simple confusion (the +1 part) is perfectly understandable considering you two pompous asses share the same un-original lazy screen name. If some other pompous ass were to have a “J.” screen name I wouldn’t be so quick to mistake there confusion for idiocracy unlike you, you pompous ass. Secondly, that joke was the biggest joke fail in the history of joke fails. Even The Situation at Donald’s Trump roast was able to deliver a better joke than you. I think you should stick to your day job of being a pompous ass rather than trying out for Last Comic Standing. You un-original, un-funny Pompous Ass!!!

  • For those of you who’ve always wanted to leave a note like that after being continualled screwed by pompous parkers, I’d recommend

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