Holiday Spirit Long Gone From One Apartment Building in Adams Morgan

A friend of my spotted the above letter in his apartment building in Adams Morgan. He sums it up nicely:

“With the threat of one neighbor cutting another into pieces over a Christmas tree improperly disposed of, this letter marks the official end of the post-Tuscon era of civility in Washington.”

71 Comment

  • This NEEDS to get submitted to

  • I bet some old Indian tracker could follow the trail of pine needles all the way back down the hall to the originating apartment. . .

  • The writer had me completely wrapped up in the witticism of his/her prose until it came to hacksaw. Why would someone try to cut up a tree with a hacksaw?!

  • No — thank you.

  • anyone else want to go spread pine needles around this building?

  • this is why single family homes > condos

  • This reminds me of Jean Paul Sartre’s yuletide classic, “No Exit.”

  • i’ll summarize:

    please clean up after yourself
    – mgmt

    oR wE KiLl YoU!!!

  • For anybody reading this for advice on disposing your tree: Don’t use a hacksaw. Hacksaws are not for cutting trees. But, if you have a hacksaw, I hope you already knew that.

    (Would be useful for cutting up neighbors, however.)

  • I dragged my tree through my condo’s hallway, into the elevator, and down the back hallway to the garbage room, leaving a trail of pine needles.. I, however, was smart enough to vacuum from my door to the elevator, so no one has any idea who I was 🙂

  • That last line is TOTALLY inappropriate. Yikes.

  • There’s a touch of Jeffrey Dahmer in this.
    Btw, did you hear Dahmer was out on bail? It must have cost him an arm and a leg.

  • This happened in my building last year…in March not even kidding. I tracked the needles to the responsible condo, knocked, and asked if theywouldnt mind sweeping up the needles…and the guy had the nerve to deny it was their tree. This note is ridiculous but sometimes people are mor ridiculous.

    • Did you ever think that maybe it wasnt his tree?

      • Needles went from their door to the elevator, into the elevator, and from the ground floor out of e front door, around the building, to the dumpster. As it wad March, the needles were brown and had fallen off in a huge pile. He admitted it wad his after all but barely cleaned up beyond his front door. My point is that people are shameless and I don’t blame ute writers of this note (despite being passive aggressive).

  • Also, iPad typing fail… Please excuse my lolcat spelling errors.

  • Oh, come on! It’s funny. People are so inconsiderate and assume that it’s other peoples’ jobs to clean up after them. See: littering.

  • pablo .raw

    yours truly,

    Jack the Ripper

  • I threw mine off the 3rd floor balcony into the grass field below and then dragged it to the community dumpster. There were needles for about 2 feet from the slider to the balcony rail… I just swept it off the balcony… but realized as the needles flew off that the wind blew them back into the 2nd and 1st floor balconies below. ooops. Sidenote… taking down the tree on NY’s day did make for much less pine needle droppings.

  • I am really curious as to which apartment building this is.

  • That pretty much sums up the general level of civility in this town, overall.

  • Having had the same experience in my small (6 unit, self-managed) building, I completely empathize with the OP. One of the renters in my building decided to get a tree and having a tree decorating party, to which each unit was invited. It was lovely. What was not lovely was coming home after the holidays to a complete MESS (dead pine needles, small branches) in our hallways that trailed down 2 flights of stairs. Now, as noted above we are self-managed, which also means that those who are interested in our building also clean the building. And for me, this meant vacuuming 2 flights of stairs & landings littered w/ pine needles. I didn’t come home until late January so needless to say it was completely inconsiderate of my neighbors not only to have created the mess, but not to have cleaned it up themselves.

  • Certainly the person should have swept up after themselves, but really? Yes, it is an apartment building and yes, it IS the janitor’s job to clean up after people. I’m not saying it’s fine to create more work for him, but cleaning the floors is part of the job description.

    • So, can I leave my dog’s poop in the hallway too?

    • Wouldn’t the janitor be vaccuming the hall anyway? I don’t really think sucking up a few pine needles in the process would be any more difficult.

      • Have you tried it? It’s a pain when they get stuck in the threads of the carpet, and they clog up any decent vacuum quite quickly.

        And in the meantime everyone else is tracking them into their apartments creating a bigger mess.

        If it’s so easy, why didn’t the dildo clean them up him/herself.

  • Really, there are worse things a person could leave in the hallway. Does anyone listen to This American Life? There was a story a few weeks ago about an apartment building that had to resort to DNA testing of dog poop because someone was leaving it in the hallway.

  • Anyone lazy enough to leave their tree up until the end of January would be too lazy to clean up the dried-up needles that fell off. They’re lucky the guy didn’t just leave the entire tree in the hall.

    • LAZY?

      in my family the tree goes up Christmas Eve and stays up through most of January. Just because we don’t put it up the day after Thanksgiving and take it down the day after Christmas doesn’t mean that we – unlike your mode of thinking – are lazy. Get over yourself

      • no. that just makes you cheap – like the people who buy halloween candy the day after to get it 50% off!

        • How does it make them “cheap”? Perhaps it’s their tradition to decorate the tree on Xmas eve with the whole family.

  • I am going to be so sad when we find out it was a darling elderly woman who was waiting for her son to come help her, but he died –tragically before his own mother– due to undiagnosed heart disease. So although she broke her hip last year, she DID manage to get the tree out, finally, and down to the dump.

  • This is from the Alcazar, and I can even tell you the three came from the 3rd floor. I could follow their path from their front door.

  • I’m not sure why anyone would be alarmed by the last line. The type of person who would post such a note is pretty cowardly and weak anyway. I don’t think we have to worry about them committing such an act.

    • Don’t you all know how much work it is to actually saw a body up? There’s flying bone chunks and splinters and all kinds of gobs.

  • True, this belongs on

    BUT I don’t read this as as crazy as most of the commenters. The last line seems more (attempted) wittiness than threat.

  • Jesus, how about a broom and a dustpan? A Dustbuster? Save the environment, resists those stupid tree bags.

  • I am a big fan of throwing mine down the balcony too, from the second floor.

  • These poor anti-tree people. Life is just sooooooooo hard. If tracking a few pine needles into your apartment makes you that angry you have bigger issues to deal with.

  • ha! That’s my building! Its the Imperial on Columbia Rd

  • I live in that building. While I didn’t see the mess caused by the tree (I was out of town for a few days), I thought most of the note was fairly reasonable. While using a hacksaw to dispose of a tree sounds overly complicated, and the attempted witticism at the end fell flat… the overall point was: “Don’t be a slob. Clean up after yourself.” Unfortunately some people in this building treat it like a dorm.

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