Dear PoP – Worst Metro Story

Photo by PoPville flickr user Bogotron

“Dear PoP,

I was riding the green line home tonight from Gallery Place to Shaw tonight around 6:40. I walk in, turn to my immediate left, and sit down. As soon as my bum hits the chair cushion, I look up to see a large woman about a stride in front of me looking disgruntled. She was nowhere near sitting in this seat. I settle in to read something on my phone when she hits me with her newspaper. I was puzzled, she said ‘I should have you get up,’ to which I gave a slight smile, thinking she was joking (did she really hit me with her newspaper..). She then backs up VERY close to me. I’m stuck, nowhere to go. I have the metro car wall on my right, and a girl trying to read a book to my left, and lots of people standing next to and in front of the girl to my left.

She backs her ass right into my space with her legs pushing into mine, nearly falling back when the train starts. I push my knee in to the back of her knee to get her to move forward and away from me (telling her to get the hell away from me in the process b/c she was clearly crazy). She responds by attempting to stomp my foot hard/kick my shin about 7 times. I tell her to stop kicking me and she leans way back again and tells me she’s going to sit on me. I call her crazy and psychotic again (with some swears dropped in b/c, what the hell a 400 lb woman is attempting to sit on 115 lb me).

She finally makes good on her threat, after I spent the better part of 2 (late rush hour) stops digging my keys into her leg to keep her away from me and to discourage her from sitting on me, and actually DOES sit on me AND the girl next to me in the process (her ass was wide enough to require more than one seat). Because I was trapped this whole time (there was no way I could stand up to get away from her), I had to push her over HARD as she was sitting on me so I didn’t get crushed, kicking off my shoe in the process and somehow ending up with her holding what had been in my hand (metro card, credit card, and my keys). I had to frantically grab for my belongings to keep her from doing who knows what with them (at which point some woman said, “ladies, please”; clearly unaware of what this woman had done to me and probably thinking I’m pulling this woman’s belongings away from her when it was my stuff). It happened to be my stop after she sat on me, so I got off, called her ‘*&^(&(@$ psychotic one last time for good measure, and went home to a big glass of wine. I was so annoyed by this woman (who seemed professionally dressed and pulled together).

I told her after she sat that how the hell did she know I didn’t need a seat either. I happen to have an ‘invisible’ disability where I feel like SHIT if I have to stand, despite looking like a young, healthy person on the outside to any casual viewer. She couldn’t comprehend anything other than the YOU TOOK MY SEAT fallacy that preceded this mess. Also, an ass was smiling and enjoying the show the whole time in the aisle and no one attempted to get this woman away from me no matter how far this woman went in SITTING ON PEOPLE AND KICKING PEOPLE.”

Wow, this is insane. What do/can you do in a situation like this? Just get off at the next stop?

135 Comment

  • I would carry a legal size knife with you. This is assault and is every definition of self defense. With her being so fat you would just want to make sure you hit the liver.

  • I don’t meant to sound completely cavalier about your story and your condition, but yes! Get up or get off. Move to another seat. If it’s taken, kindly tell the person across from you that you have a condition and ask them for their seat.

    If you’re waiting for Good Samaritans to save the day aboard Metro, you’re probably new to Metro.

    • are you and the other posters suggesting she “get up or get off” for real?!?! when did it become ok for people to harass (verbally and physically) anyone they want in order take any seat they want????!!! i would have called the police right there to file assault and battery charges.

      • ah

        I think they’re being realistic, in the absence of cops on Metro who would bother to do anything, let alone be remotely visible.

        People with principles just get squashed by 400 lb women.

        • Agreed. I’ve been harassed on the metro all too frequently and, frankly, transit police really don’t care. Sure, it’s frustrating to have to change your behavior because someone else is being ridiculous (and as someone else who looks young and healthy, but isn’t, I understand the need to sit), but, to me, it’s really not something that’s worth getting injured over.

          • agreed re: transit police, but i’m talking about “real” police. sitting on someone like that (in addition to kicking shins etc) is battery, pure & simple.

          • Try to get “real police” to respond quickly to something like this. Newsflash: it won’t happen.

          • you can still file a report. if someone is physically assaulted, the police have to respond.

          • I’m aware, but my comments were regarding the effectiveness of filing a report. It might make you feel better, but, IMO, it would be a big waste of my time. To each her own.

      • Awful situation – stabbing or fighting her would have likely ended with you getting arrested as well, so either calling 911 or moving were sadly the only options. And yes, the woman’s behavior as described is clearly criminal.

    • Seriously? Get up or get off? I just hope this fatty sits on you next time. (please don’t respond with some justification like you’re a bodybuilder and you’d just push her off, cause that will only affirm my thoughts).

      Fat bitches need to reckanize that skinny girls need love (and seats) too.

  • In situations like this I think you need to laugh it off or move seats / trains. There’s really no reason to complain if you’re more or less instigating by calling this woman names. The metro is full of people who are completely nuts – that shouldn’t surprise any regular rider.

    • from what I read, the OP didn’t instigate anything. she responded not-inappropriately to a hugely (pun intended) unreasonable scag.

      • me

        OP may not have instigated, but she was jamming her keys into the fat woman. That’s assault, too.

        Couldn’t she have said something so that the other passengers would know what was going on, instead of just calling her psychotic? OP is getting nowhere with that. People like the crazy woman are all over this city, and yes, a lot of the times, they ARE dressed professionally and look “normal”. Doesn’t mean that they’re rational.

    • If a skinny/anorexic/normal/chunky/fat man/woman/human steps on my feet and kicks my shins I’m gonna whoop that ass. You sound like an arsewipe coming on here and telling the OP to laugh it off.

  • i had a similar incident, though not violent like yours – right after i moved to dc, i had a drunk, appearing to be homeless man, sit on me on the metro. i was sitting next to the window, with an open seat on the aisle. he comes in, and sits on me, instead of the open seat. i kindly asked him to please get off me and occupy the empty seat instead. he then proceeded to yell at me, saying i was talking down to him – that i don’t know anything about him or his life – and calling me an entitled white girl and making it about race. which it wasn’t. it was about getting off my lap and sitting in a perfectly good empty seat next to me. finally, a good samaritan behind me confronted this man and told him to calm down and just sit in the seat and stop causing a scene. the guy got off a few stops later and i thanked the man behind me for saying something, but it was definitely a jarring incident. even afterwards, i still don’t know if there’s a right thing to do or act.

    sorry you had to go through that, some people just think everything is about them, when usually it is not. and in that type of situation sometimes the right answer is not always readily apparent.

  • 1) The first time she got into your personal space, you say, excuse me, push past her, get up and walk away. If you are disabled and you need a seat, you go to the seats that are reserved for disabled people and you ask someone to move so you can sit down.

    2) If you need help, you ask for it.

    3) Crazy or not, you don’t mock people for being fat.

    4) Calling people crazy and swearing at them won’t help diffuse a situation.

    • +1 people are crazy, that’s part of life. the woman who tried to sit on you sounds unpleasant, but commonsense and some grace could probably have helped you avoid the prolonged nasty situation you got into. note that a parallel to shrugging of a mugging or other violent crime is not appropriate.

    • agreed. use some commonsense. she obviously has problems, why engage in a fight and name-calling — when you can easily diffuse the situation by moving to another train car. it’s not right what she did, but as an adult you sometimes have to deal with these things and dealing with them in a reasonable, dignified fashion is best. rather than even entertaining the idea of name-calling and violence. you obviously could have pushed your way out of the corner to get out of the situation.

      • I like how calm and matter of fact people are being when saying, “you should have defused the situation or not gotten up in arms.” Riding metro at rush hour, regardless of crazy people attacking you, does not usually allow for thoughtful actions. It usually only allows for defending yourself and hoping your stop is coming up next.

        • By thoughtful, do you mean kind/charitable or thought-out? I don’t see that thoughtful action and defending one’s self in this case are mutually exclusive options.
          If it were me in the sat-upon rider’s shoes, when the imposing woman announced that she was going to sit on me (it’s hard to be surprised by anything these days!), I would have said something like, “you can take the seat, but let met get up first – don’t sit on me” instead of calling her “crazy/psychotic.” I’m not saying that would have worked, but I doubt it would have resulted in any worse of a resolution. Sorry to hear of your run-in though.

    • “4) Calling people crazy and swearing at them won’t help diffuse a situation.”

      Neither will sitting on people.
      Damn, talk about blaming the victim.

      • NOT blaming the victim, just offering a more reasonable response. it’s not the OP’s fault that she encountered an unpleasant situation. i just think diffusing the situation is better than cursing or getting the police (which will just take up time and produce nothing positive).

        • it’s not useful to turn this into a “who is the right” debate, because that is pretty settled. the OP ran into a potentially nuts jerk. that happens, it’s unfortunate. the question is what you do about it. sometimes choosing to defuse/avoid rather than escalate is the way to go.

    • Easy there, baby hippo.

    • Agreed. Yeah, it really sucks to be in this sort of situation (and, as someone else who looks healthy but isn’t, I understand how frustrating it can be to find a seat on the metro and I understand that people sitting in the handicapped seats often don’t want to give them up). However, escalating the situation isn’t the answer. And I agree with point #3; I was really taken aback by all of the fat bashing, although, considering how common it is, I guess I shouldn’t have been.

    • me

      @Sue, she wasn’t mocking the person for being fat. She was relaying the fact that the person obviously had to take up more than 1 seat. That’s just a reality, not an insult.

  • Sounds unfortunate but man that was a funny story. Pick your battles OP.

  • I strongly suspect a bit of exaggeration in this story. If not, then the author is as dumb as a bag of hair for not calling the police.

  • i honestly can’t believe that people are defending the woman. it is absolutely inappropriate behavior. and yes it happens a lot, but that doesn’t make it right. people get shot a lot in DC too.

    i have to say that i am amazed how cool the write seems to have stayed in this situation. as soon as the person would have sat on me i would have certainly lost my cool.

    what needs to be done in a situation likes this? why not report it to metro police? what is wrong with this? if a 400 pound person sits down on a 115 pound person that is more or less assault so lets treat it like it.

    if the person had a real condition she could have said it in a friendly way, and asked for a seat. i bet she would have gotten it.

    • I don’t think anyone is particularly defending the woman. They’re saying you can’t reason with crazy and you also can’t expect your fellow metro passengers to do the right thing just because it’s the right thing. It’s a rather unfortunate bit of cynicism, but not untrue.

      And as for reporting it to metro police, that’s an exercise in futility unless your objective is to wait two or three hours at the stop for an officer to show and fill out paperwork. It’s not like the OP could have made a citizen’s arrest and forced the fat woman off the train so she could turn her into the cops.

    • I don’t think people are defending the woman, I think they are saying that OP should pick his/her battles. Who knows if this person is rational or crazy and what the hell could happen if you pick a fight with them?

      2. If OP actually has a condition that makes it uncomfortable to stand on the Metro, then perhaps he/she should explain that when someone asks him/her to get up? That seems like a better course of action to me than smirking like an entitled douche and then having a kicking/screaming fight more suited to a pair of five-year-olds.

      The reality is that if people don’t see that you have a visible condition and look young and fit they are going to assume you are being a jerk. You know why? Because they see that behavior every day – the young guy in the suit sitting in the reserved seats on the bus/train who looks up from his phone just long enough to see the old person/massively pregnant lady/person with a cane and then goes back to whatever they’re doing without offering them a seat.

      • I wasn’t smirking, I thought she was joking around after she slapped a newspaper across my chest. She felt entitled to the seat. Didn’t matter what I needed it for.

    • HEY CARSTENNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Being fat isnt a disability. But then again your “invisible” disability sounds like BS too.

    • Could be anaemia, hypoglycemia, etc. Some people prefer not to share.

      • or could just be lazy.

        • As someone who is currently pregnant with twins I can assure that some things are invisible. Underneath my winter coat and scarf I look like a non-pregnant 30 yr old woman. Almost every day I get asked to give up my seat on metro (and pre-pregnancy I always did, and without being asked). I have been using the same response: “I am very sorry I would love to get up for you. But I can’t. I am very pregnant and trying very hard right now to not throw up or faint. I am afraid if I stand I will lost my lunch and pass out.” I can assure that I almost always get cursed out for being lazy.

          • I feel you. When I sprained my ankle a few months ago I could barely stand on the metro when it was jerking around and moving, but I was always made to feel like a jerk for not getting up, because my doctor decided that a more discreet brace fitted my needs better than a cast or a “boot.”

      • I’m not diagnosed with anything but I get horrible dizzy spells if I stand for too long. My metro rides are fairly short so I’ll stand if I have to, but I’ll come out as white as a ghost.

    • It could be MS, as well. There are a ton of invisible disabilities that make it difficult for people to stand for prolonged periods.

      • This. My 33-year-old sister appears perfectly able, but she has MS and standing or walking for long periods of time can be uncomfortable to downright painful.

    • Really? There are MANY of them. Look it up and don’t be a jerk.

  • You should have offered her your seat, got up, and then sat on her. Her mushy build probably would have provided more comfort than the metro seat itself.

  • This concludes my assesment that fat people should be taxed. They take up extra space and it would motiviate them to loose weight. It would help with the deficit and encourage healthy behavior.

  • This is one of those situations where vomiting on command can make a serious impression. I call it the buzzard defense. People REALLY don’t like to be thrown up on.

  • Totally Agree. Down with the fatties. Seriously though, keep your fat ass on your side of the seat or better yet walk up and down the aisles of the metro to get some exercise.

  • Metro is full of weirdos. A couple of years ago, during rush hour, a middle aged man dressed professionally kneed me in the back all the way down the escalator and then picked me up and threw me down the last couple of stairs. I’ve also been shoved off the bus (people get anxious they won’t make it off be fore the doors close) and I still have a scar on my leg to prove it!

  • I usually opt for the “crazier than you are” response – start singing, yelping, yodeling, preaching (casting out devils is usually good)or hug her and announce loudly that she is your blind date from the online lesbian fetish dating forum. It often works and is always good theater.

  • As serious response this and someone said before when you deal with crazy people. People who are angry and As serious response this and someone said before when you deal with crazy people. People who are angry and belligerent for no reason be prepare to fight or deal with the consequences of altercation if you plan on playing on their level. If you don’t won’t to deal with that BS than just move. Because the only way to deal with crazy people is to be more crazy than them or just walk away. The problem with being more crazy is it will usually land you in jail because the only way that lady would know not to mess with you and your personal space would be to stab her in the neck with your keys. This is just my opinion but moving would be an easier option.

  • I’m with the woman on the metro that said “ladies, please”. The 115 pounder should have said something before pushing her knees into the back of the 400pounder saying she was ready to fight.

    Sounds like both woman had a bad day, took it out on one another and the poor girl next to them.

    (Anyone else get the feeling 115pounder is commenting on this under secret names to help defend herself?)

    • What’s with the catty epilogue to your comment? I’m surprised when women aren’t more sympathetic to the smaller lady who is the clear victim, especially in light of joker’s comments below about her having a pattern of picking fights on the metro. I supposed you hadn’t read that when you commented, but still.

  • Holy moly…

    I am pretty sure I had a run in with the same woman about 2 months ago.

    Enormous fat woman, that was otherwise “put” together.

    I was sitting in the front row of seats, had been there for 2 stops on this non-rush hour train when she got on.

    Made a bee line directly for me and told me “never asked” to get up so she could sit down. It hit me later that even though all the front seats were filled, I was the only white person in them which had to be the reason she picked on me. Unfairly judging her at the time as just some obese chick who wanted to sit down and not actually disabled in any way, told her my stop was 3 down the line, and she could have me seat at that point.

    Again, I’d like to point out while there weren’t any seats available, there was tons of standing room as this was a non-rush train.

    Just like the story above she turns around and backs up that enormous rear end right in my face, telling me she is going to sit on me. After asking her politely twice to move away (both times she responded for me to “shut my bitch ass up…I am a white male in my 50’s), I simply reached out with my hand and pushed on the back of her right knee, causing it to bend forward and her to go down like a sack of potatos.

    It took her a good 30 seconds to get up, her swearing at the top of her lungs at me the entire time, but she did move to the other side of the train and stand there.

    Point I am trying to make is people will treat you only as poorly as you let them. Now granted, as an older male weighing 200 lbs I am a little more physically equipped to deal with crazy people than this poor 115 lb person, but sometimes you have to stoop down to these peoples level in order to get across to them. 99.9% of the people who screw with you on the metro, do so assuming you aren’t going to be provoked or respond. It is amazing how quickly they back off when you do. I am not recommending anyone pick a fight, but you really need to stand your ground.

    • can you put together a graphic of how you folded her knee?

      You weren’t scared your hand would get stuck?

      Shit, I ride the Green Line about this time. I bet that heifer works at my building.

    • me

      “I am not recommending anyone pick a fight, but you really need to stand your ground.”

      Yeah, by assaulting a woman. Come on. I live in the same city you do and I deal with ridiculous people all of the time. Find some other way to deal.

  • My assumption is that this young woman was sitting in the seating near the door reserved for the handicapped and elderly, right? Even if this is the case and the OP had no handicap at all, the situation was instantly escalated when the other woman smacked her with the newspaper in order to demand the seat. Yes, crazy people on the Metro are abound but they too need to realize that the person whose buttons they decide to push that day, may be a little crazier than them!

    What should the OP have done? While I think simply conceding the seat would have been the best course of action, it would have only reinforced the notion that the large woman can use her weight to bully people without an repurcussions. The instant she sat on me, I would have called the police. Or I would have used to train intercom to alert the train operator that an assult has taken place. As a 120lb woman, if I were to sit on a 30lb 3-year old, it wouldn’t be looked upon too kindly and I’d definitely be exposing myself to potential assault charges. Why is this situation any different?

    • really? why is this situation any different than you sitting on a 3 yr old? there’s no question that the OP was in the right (as i guess the 3 yr old would be?). the question is how you respond. there’s just a more sensible reaction.

    • How can you get up to use the intercom when you are being crushed. And to answer your question about a 3 year old. Because we have double standards in this country. Just like a 300lbs man tried to sit on me and I used my strength and size to elbow them in the back of the head it would be considered self defense rather than me assualting a 300lb woman and they would put me in cuffs. If you don’t believe there are double standards in our culture. Than your probably weren’t born in this country.

      Unless a cop is there to see it they aren’t going to do anything. It’s a lot of paper work for no real phyiscal damage.

    • do you really think that the transit police or metro police are going to do anything when you tell them this story? they have better things to do…If I was a cop and someone said, “she tried to sit on me” I would laugh and say “Ladies, stop it.” and move on. The OP is in the right..but somethings are better left undone..get up, walk down and find another seat, or get off and wait for another train. This situation could have been worse, but it also could have been better.

  • This is an awful story. People are batsh-t crazy on the Metro and the 115 lb woman could have been hurt by this beast. I am pregnant and at only 2 and 1/2 months I don’t look really pregnant. However, I have afternoon sickness that makes the evening commute a realy joy. So, I welcome any chance I get to have a seat. Now, some people are really nice–a teenager (and I know how rare that is in our city) gave me her seat and chose to stand for at least 5 stops and other riders have been similarly nice (they must see the green tinge on my face). Now if this beast woman did this to me and tried to sit on me, I swear I think I would have done anything to protect myself and my unborn child. The girl should have definitely gotten others to help her on the train or should have pulled that emergency button on the train and got this woman arrested.

  • The district is lame.

  • Wow, you people are rough. This poor girl was harassed and assaulted and your reaction is to tell her she was in the wrong?! Jeez.

    OP – if I were sitting next to you, I’d have helped you push her off! (Of course, I don’t ride metro b/c of not liking to be trapped with strangers – many of whom are obviously insane – on my commute, but I’m with the OP in spirit.)

    • umm, we’re not saying she was in the wrong, we were saying that when someone is obviously insane, a better course of action than cursing them out is extricating yourself from the situation, not as a matter of being in the moral right but out of practicality. i give up my seat regularly and, had i been there, would have tried to defuse the situation and helped the OP from getting smushed. she’s not in the wrong, but she’s got a better choice than cursing and prolonging the unpleasant situation.

    • Agree with 11th, I wasn’t saying OP was wrong, I was just responding to PoP’s question “what can you do?”
      Also, referring to your parenthetical remark, I hope (and believe) you don’t really think this is routine behavior on the metro. Unless your metro commute takes you between a stop with a mental asylum with lax security and your home, I would seriously doubt ‘many’ of the strangers on your commute would be insane – you make riding the metro sound like a horror movie!
      The worst I usually see is kids acting like kids – the ‘insane’ people I’ve encountered tend to be in bars.

      • I don’t think that this is par for the course on metro, but I don’t ride it. I simply don’t want to be trapped in a box with that many strangers. The whole thing skeeves me out. The bus is only slightly better b/c at least it’s above ground, but really, I just don’t do public transportation.

  • Slap me with a newspaper and put your big ass in my face… you’d be lucky if my first course of action was to try to make it uncomfortable for you to keep standing like that by pushing my knees into you to get you to move away.

    Talk about “entitlement” – I don’t care if you are fat as hell cause you have an unfortunate disease, you are also out of control and shouldn’t expect to bully other people to get your way. My $.02

    Someone who is 3x – 4x your own body weight sitting on you can really hurt you.

  • I’d be pissed if this happened to me. But since it did not, I can’t stop laughing.

  • This sucks and I’m sure you were startled, but you should have asked for help. No one really knows how to read the situation unless you turn to other passengers and say “can someone please help me control this/get the person to stop harassing me/call the transit police?”

  • As tempting as it is, Metro cannot be a teaching situation for crazy people. It’s just asking for trouble or injury. Most days I move on, but sometimes I am just not up for rewarding selfish behavior; that’s what they count on. So some days, I push back, but I don’t expect anyone to learn how to behave in the future. Some days, I am just not in the mood for the high road.

    I don’t use the reserved seats. If you want a regular seat that I am in, then tell me why, if it’s not obvious. If it’s obvious then it’s yours anyway (age or pregnancy). Being fat is insufficient reason for me to move.

    The OP should have started yelling “I SAID I DIDN’T HAVE ANY CAKE!” over and over again. Once that woman hit me with a newspaper, I’d have let the insults fly.

  • Ahhhh, you must be new to Metro. That was simply part of the initiation.

  • I don’t know how I would have reacted to the situation. I probably would have tried to get up and get away from her (which is generally my approach to most crazy people on the metro).

    In hindsight, if you were really committed to staying in that seat – it would have been advantageous for you to get someone’s attention as soon as she started kicking/stomping you. Sure people can be caught up in their own business on the metro, but if you tap them on the knee or look them in the eye and try to convey a sense of desperation and ask for help, I think they’ll respond. Even if they don’t offer to pull you out from under her, at least you’re giving people around you a clearer sense of what is going on. So you’re less likely to get a “ladies please” reaction.

    There are cameras on the metro cars right? Given that Joker seems to have had a negative experience with the same woman – I wish someone would go out of their way to report her and file charges. Granted, this is the time consuming and prolonged option that I wouldn’t be likely to take myself (I understand the desire to forget about it and go home). But if this woman is really out there roaming the metro sitting on people – I hope someone files charges against her. To that someone: you’ll have the gratitude of everyone on this board!

    Also – this confirms my suspicion that crazy people get on the metro in disproportionate numbers at Chinatown.

  • what a crappy story. The sad part is that this woman will continue to behave this way and continue to harass people for their seats. Talk about entitlement.
    Public transit is such crap these days. Ruined mostly by the riders. Nothing irks me more than someone who puts their crap in the empty seat next to them so other won’t sit down. Also bus riders who have complete disregard for the queue.

    • AGREED! People who sit in the aisle seat and give attitude when asked for the window seat are my favorite!

    • Yeah, that’s the real kicker here. This fat@$$ will go right on expecting that she’ll always get to be seated where she wants on the Metro cars and will continue to believe she can bully her way to getting that. I know there are crazy, entitled, and profoundly inconsiderate people everywhere in this world, but there are times when it seems like DC has claimed a disproportionate share of them.

    • What’s the point of the bus queue though? I’ve never been in a situation where the bus was completely filled up, and there’s not much variance between the seats, so there doesn’t seem to be much benefit to getting on before other people.

      I get very dizzy if I have to stand in one spot for a long time. If there’s a 40 minute wait for the next bus I’ll sit it out, and when the bus arrives I’ll drift into the line at the place I would have been standing. If someone looks annoyed I’ll walk over to the back of the line, but there doesn’t seem to be much reason to do it otherwise.

      • Simple on the bus queue, It’s just common courtesy.
        Seems pretty arrogant to completely disregard everyone who is in front of you in line and cut in. If you can’t see that then not sure what to say…

        • I’m not talking about cutting in front of people. I’m asking why is there a need for a queue in the first place? We don’t do it when waiting for the metro, where there actually would be good reasons to at certain times.

  • I used to work in a homeless shelter, 600 people, midnight shift. You can’t out crazy crazy people, and they really are not in control of their behavior, either. You want points for being in the right, then you win. Congrats. But, that’s not always the best way to live, literally.

    Defuse, defuse, defuse, and live to tell the story. Sometimes you need to set limits, sometimes you retreat, sometimes you scream and yell. But focus on ending the conflict.

    You weren’t hurt, apparently, so count your blessings, and you didn’t ask for help, either, so stop blaming the other passengers. You’ve got a great, weird story that I’m sure you’ll retell for years. I’m glad you’re okay.

    It would be good to file a report with Metro, since this person is clearly disturbed and seems to be doing this repeatedly. You may end up helping her find the help and meds she needs to rejoin the mainstream.

    • I’m going to have to disagree with your out crazy a crazy person statement. Fat lady “I am going to sit on you get out of my seat” OP “Ok, as long as you ok with me jabing my keys into you spine than taking a shit on your face”

      Out crazied.

  • I’m sorry – I just think it is hysterical that we have a “serial sitter” and now I can’t wait to scream “I SAID I DIDN’T HAVE ANY CAKE!”

    • LOL, you have made me day which is sad. Hopefully something better somes along once I am done doing nothing at work.

  • Being fat should not entitle you to disabled seating on the Metro. In fact, it should result in paying a double fare for the 2 seats they take up.

  • The real question — is the value of that seat worth the cost of the iterant confrontation it involved? It’s not worth reasoning with her, getting a verdict from the other passengers, or engaging in name calling. What do you “win” by being right? Walk away and find another spot. Or stand. It doesn’t excuse the aggressor’s action, but it provides her a shallow victory and you your sanity. She provoked you ?) for the sake of a confrontation — couldn’t she have badgered another rider for a seat? Does this sound like someone to even bother reasoning with?

    In my daughter’s preschool class, where 3 yr olds generally have undeveloped reasoning skills, they encourage people to use their words, and failing the desired response, to walk away from a provocateur. It’s a good lesson for adults too.

  • I’ve said it once before and I’ll say it again: angry black women are scary. That’s why no one intervened.

  • Sorry but I would had at her. Carry a nice sharp pin incase you run in to the “enormous freak” again.

    You let someone push you out the way once they will do again and again.

    Sometimes, big fat bullies need to be put in their place.

    A little drama goes a long way. I might have even scream bloody murder and then hit the emergency button claiming I was attacked.

    Bet that would be the last seat the big entitle one take without asking.

    • How far are you willing to go? You use a self defense tool and maybe she swings or grabs your hair … or pulls out something improvisational of her own. Again, what’s gained by this confrontation? Sociopaths live for confrontation, but sane and rational people avoid it. That’s why no one jumped into this senseless drama.

      And if this submitter did in fact really need a seat for whatever reason, she could have just as easily asked another rider politely rather than clinging to this one seat like her life depended on it. A sane and rational request would almost certainly get an appropriate response from another rider. Don’t bully them out of a seat by squishing them — model rational behavior to the offender rather than cussing her out, which appears just as bats@#! crazy as sitting on a stranger for a seat to indifferent witnesses with nothing to gain by entering the fray.

  • “I’ve said it once before and I’ll say it again: angry black women are scary”

    How do you know she was black?

  • I’m black and I would go out on a limb and say this was a black woman. You really can’t make assumptions on race but giving its the district and the majority of fat black woman have attudies issues. (Reasons why, they are hunger, angry over the price of diabetes medication, or her skinny boyfriend keeps cheating on her).

  • Having an “invisible disability” is extremely challenging on the Metro and terrifying during rush hour. This summer, I became very sick and spent 2 weeks in the ICU, and upon my release, I was dependent on taxis and public transport for my daily visits to the doctors’ offices across town. As a skinny girl in my mid-twenties, I certainly didn’t look ill (unless you noticed my compression stockings and many hospital scars), but I struggled to breathe and moved slower than the average 90 year-old. I certainly feel for the victim here, because it’s a struggle enough to feel so physically terrible that you don’t need someone pushing you around and abusing you. While announcing you have a physical condition is probably the best way to get other passengers to care, it just compounds the loss of dignity that comes with such ailments, and I can understand anyone not wanting to share their personal medical history with fellow commuters on a daily basis. I can also understand how this pushed you to your limits and made you lose your patience. All I can say is keep your chin up and in the future, keep your eye out for the kind fellow passengers (they do exist…sometimes!) who can help pull you out of that situation.

    • saf

      Shoot, having a visible disability on the metro is a problem. I walked with a cane for about 6 months, and was on crutches for 4 weeks a few years ago.

      Healthy young men would push past me to take the reserved for the disabled seats on the metro. (I did WAY better on the bus.)

  • how come this story is devoid of the lady in the seat next to her’s reaction? i mean, if the crazy woman was really 400lbs, i doubt the other woman was just sitting there not realizing what was going on.

    • She had her nose in her book I assume trying to ignore the situation (she ended up being sat on too). Being that it was rush hour, she wasn’t able to get up and out of the way easily either and kept her seat up until the lady sat on us.

  • All I have to add to the OP(and everyone who does this) is to not keep valuables in your hands on the Metro. Esp near the doors;this is just asking for a snatch-and-run.

  • “I’m black and I would go out on a limb and say this was a black woman. You really can’t make assumptions on race but giving its the district and the majority of fat black woman have attudies issues. (Reasons why, they are hunger, angry over the price of diabetes medication, or her skinny boyfriend keeps cheating on her).”

    She could have been a white woman commuter from one of those majority white suburbs. All types of colors ride Metro.

  • Hey guys haven’t read through all the posts yet but she made it next to impossible for me to get up. Normally I would (and I was going so few stops that I really didn’t think she’d carry on for so long over being upset over the seat or actually get to the point where she DID sit on me) but it was VERY difficult how she was standing to get myself out of the situation. She had me entirely blocked, and wouldn’t respond to me pushing her out of the way. Normally I’m someone who would walk away but I really had no clue she would escalate it. At first it was just very uncomfortable (she was standing VERY close to me and blocking any way for me to get out, shifting as I shifted to get my legs out of the way). And she wouldn’t budge when I tried to push her and yell get away from me. She made up her mind to harass me and not let me up from the seat she thought belonged to her.

    • You know, I read your post — actually read it as in noticed you specifically said you were blocked in from all sides. That’s why I’m on your side. Basic reading comprehension skills are very useful from time to time. Should I thank my high school English teachers now?

      I think some people would rather jump on the bandwagon with their reasonable yet not germane to the situation suggestions. Oh well.

  • And Raymond Deloit–yes it was clearly assault and something to get the police involved in–but this was DC on a Metro train. Who the hell would I have gotten involved who would have actually been able to do anything? Waste of time and wouldn’t result in anything. Someone else said I was fat bashing. Sorry, but the woman was very large and explaining her size is crucial to telling the story. If she was skinny, I would have been able to get up and walk away much more easily. The fact is, her size is what kept me trapped. She wasn’t responding to anything I said (prior to me getting frustrated and showing that in my vocabulary). There’s no way she was listening to anything I was asking.

    • sorry this happened to you. this woman has a lot of problems and is making everyone’s metro experience worse. i don’t know what her problem is and hope she’s told it’s unacceptable to act that way and gets some help. hopefully you don’t run into her again.

      to everyone else, i would caution against those who seem to dwell on feeling in the right over acting in a way that is productive and helpful to themselves and everyone else. trying to “out crazy someone” is an entertaining idea, but is really stupid. i don’t see how that makes a better situation for anyone. responding with kindness and grace wherever and whenever possible is powerful. being petty (even when you’re within your rights) is limiting. just a thought.

  • It’s no surprise to me that this story comes from a young woman. I’m amazed that when older, overweight or disabled people get on metro I very rarely see young women offer up their seats, and I often see younger women gladly take seats given to them by older men.

  • the cake comment was the best.

  • “Skionny chick suffers indignity– film at 11”

    Give me a break. If this is the worst thing that has happened to you this year consider yourself lucky. You people kill me.

    • Uh…worst metro story. Not worst story of my life, this year, this month, etc. But yeah, a very large person sat on me. That counts as my worst metro story. I was laughing at the ridiculousness of it as I got off. But thanks for making assumptions.

      • Don’t get too upset over the morons. I’ve been purposefully run into by some mullet sporting asshole getting off the train and I had to shove him off of me, and nobody came to my aid despite the guy clearly rubbing himself on me. The kind metro riders who come to your aid don’t exist. I had another really creepy guy trapping me in my seat once and harassing me, and none of the nice looking folks around me came to my rescue to tell him to back off. It’s city life and you have to look after yourself because other people aren’t going to do it. Remember the story of the guy who laid dead in front of the Columbia Heights Giant while most people did absolutely nothing about it and just walked by? Yeah, that’s living in a city.

  • See, here’s the thing: obesity is a handicap. Courts are increasingly ruling in favor of obese people being protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act. Whether or not you think it should be a handicap isn’t the question… it is. The seats which it sounds like you were sitting in (facing sideways, not front-back, right?) are reserved for people with disabilities, and that’s written into the metro rules. Now this lady is batshit crazy, no doubt, but if you were to contact metro authorities they’d probably tell you that you should have moved for her because of her ailment, which is treated the same as if she were an old man with a walker. If a metro employee was around and didn’t tell you to move upon her request, they themselves may be subject to litigation. I don’t have a JD, but this is my understanding.

    This gal sounds like a real bitch, just like a lot of these people commenting. Seriously, guys, you lighten the load on your back by talking down to the girl who wrote this letter, invalidating her, or spouting off your own brand of crazy? Get a life.

    • You may not have read my whole story (it was long) but I mention at the end that I needed the seat b/c I was feeling very unwell. Outwardly, I may look young and healthy, but I have had a medical condition since I was young that isn’t visible to others. In any case, these were front facing seats at one end of the train car (not the ones that face sideways in the middle). I think they still might be labeled, but I still needed to sit.

      • No, I read the whole story. The front facing seats aren’t reserved for people with disabilities, to my knowledge.

      • There was an even longer version? Jesus, I had to stop part-way through the short version.

        You sound like a bitch. You started a fight, escalated it, and I don’t believe she kicked you/sat on you. Then people actually would’ve gotten involved, no one defended you because no one was on your side. If she did in fact hit you, I’m sorry for you, violence sucks. But so does mocking mentally ill, overweight, etc.

        • So you didn’t finish a story, but you decide you have it all figured out and comment on it? That’s bullshit. Use rational thought and get all the information before deciding.

          Most people don’t realize the world doesn’t revolve around them. That fat woman is one of these people. I saw exactly the same thing happen today….. two handicapped people fight over a metro seat. One went into the seat, the other got mad and said “you saw I was going for that seat”. Yea, probably not, because the other person was caught up in their own world, clearly in pain, looking out for their own interests, and *not* running a campaign to spite other people. If people could take the tact that others’ intentions aren’t inherently bad, maybe the world could be less negative. The same applies for stupid internet people who don’t use rational thought.

        • Given that someone else on the post commented that the exact same thing happened to them, I’m inclined to believe the OP. You really think people would get involved in a metro fight? Please.

          We have no reason to believe the sitter was mentally ill by this account. Just an entitled bully.

  • Hey, I resent being called fat – and yes, that was my seat.

  • this is a great story. i loled

  • Years ago on an S2 bus I was sitting in the back reading something, with the last empty seat on the bus next to me. I was in my own little world and looked up just in time to see an ENORMOUS woman’s ASS incoming as she attempted to sit in the seat next to me. I flew out of my seat to the left, avoiding said ass cheek, then blurted out “Lady, you gotta be careful with that thing!!” The other passengers laughed hard and the woman was very embarrassed, I still feel bad about it. But geez, and I still see this on airplanes, don’t big people know they are big?

    And why are bus / metro companies and airlines still designing seats for the skinny Americans of yore? Aren’t like 30% of Americans now obese?

  • Being obsese is a disability???????!!!!! How about not eating that donut or Big Mac???????????? Save the disability protections for people with real disabilities who can’t walk or are affected by some disease. However, not being able to control what goes in your mouth is not a disability. Who cares what the courts are doing. If you are fat that does not give you the right to harass someone on the Metro and to strike them. Nor does it give you some God-given right to a seat.

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