Worst Name For A Restaurant Also Gets Closer To Opening


Ugh, this sign on the 800 block of Upshur kills me every time I see it. We spoke about it back in June. I thought you’d be eager to know that they’re looking to higher hire a pizza man and fry cook.


I should be more hopeful because I suppose it’s possible that the pizza will be good. I come from the NY point of view which holds that the more pizza places there are the better. And God knows there are some great pizza spots in NYC with horrible signage. I’ll gladly take that trade. So I’m gonna pray that this place is good and I’ll give them mad props if the pizza is quality, hell I’ll give them mad props if the “things” are good…

22 Comment

  • I think your first instinct is correct. I don’t want things with my seafood. The last “thing” I got with my seafood was norovirus, and that wasn’t a good time.

  • Vonstallin

    That use to be Dukes Seafoods, right next to China American Inn. If they sold Pizza by the slice like in Adams Morgan I would swing thru…Oh and if they had decent Shrimp and Crab Cakes.

    well damn, now im fiending for seafood.

  • I wonder if they would “higher” a guy like me? but on a serious note. where to people with business plans this aweful find the money to open a place? What do you think their rent and start up costs are?

  • I’m tempted to say “sign FAIL”

  • Glass houses, Anon 11:08?

  • Hopefully they won’t go the same way as Linens & Things…

  • where are the people yelling about having yet another chinese, pizza, seafood, sub place when we should really make this place into a community center for kids. why don’t they give these owners have the problems they give the wine bar owners.

  • That’s great. anon 11:08 makes fun of the hire/higher homonym mistake and then proceeds to have a sentence fragment, type “to” instead of “do” and misspells “awful.”

  • I’ll take some crab, and a side of thing…

  • I think anon 11:08 was kidding. At least it cracked me up when I read it.

  • Vonstallin

    I don’t have kids, but you couldn’t pay me to send any kids to that location. Grabing a quick bite to eat, fine, but not leaving Mini Me.

    For a kids center, I would scout for a place with a yard so they can get outside.

  • Mardarin: No, no, no. Not a community center. The neighborhood _demands_ a combanation kite store, cruelty-free cheese shop, and hemp emporium.

  • Come on Odentex… it’s high-end furniture store, wine bar or super-polarizing brunch spot that either rocks/sucks.

  • I’ll bet 100 dollars against your 50 cents that this place sucks. Is it really THAT much harder to open someplace good than someplace mediocre or crappy? Because D.C. just does not get it. How can this be one of the most important cities in the world, where people pay up the ass for real estate, yet I can’t get (a) a decent slice of pizza for lunch downtown or (b) good chinese food delivery from ANWHERE in the city, among numerous other serious holes in local cuisine. I wish I had any culinary skills at all, because the amount of money to be made for talented culinary entrepeneurs in this city is staggering. Half the places that have lines to get into here would fail within a month in some of the other cities I’ve lived in (New York and Chicago in particular). I don’t get it and never will. There’s my vent of the week.

  • It’s a shame- That name could be *perfect* for a cool little pizza spot, like Red Rocks. “Pizza and Things”. I don’t know- I like the ring of the “things”.

    Reminds me of The Onion’s article on Linens-n-Shit, back before it was closing… “We’ve got all sorts of shit. Bath shit, kitchen shit, shit for the bedroom, seasonal shit, and all the other shit you could possibly imagine, plus linens.” I guess this place will have all of that, except in food form.

  • Yeah, why can’t I get a thin crust slice of pizza anywhere downtown for lunch? Correct me if I am wrong, please! There are those carts, but they have the wieners and the huge burritos –

  • Love vonstallin as a new poster!

  • A friend of mine told me about his wife’s restaurant. His wife is Korean and she opened a deli. I asked him where they get bread because it’s impossible to get decent deli bread in DC and he stared at me and said, “We get all our supplies from Costco.” I nearly cried.

    His wife, you see, doesn’t know anything about food, how to prepare it, and what deli foods go together. Everything she has in the restaurant came from a restaurant plan that she bought from the same Korean guy who lent her the money to open the place.

    That’s why so many Korean delis sell “spinach and swiss cheese on pita bread.” Because one guy likes it and he sold his business plan to some unlucky couple.

    I don’t mean to pick on Koreans, but this is the one example I know well.

  • My dear upscale friends- Unless ( and until) this economy turns around, I fear that the dreams of “better” (you know, less expensive) dining in these-how you say-“transitional” neighborhoods, will be a little slower in arriving than you’d like..

  • Agreed, DC restaurants suck. Either they are high cost expense account sorts of places downtown (with shite food, I might add) or they are ghetto carry outs. Not enough in between. I love the fact that there are apparently business schools all over China and South Korea that tout the fact that you can move to the US and serve crappy food to ignorant yankees. Gotta respect a workable business model!

  • Vonstallin

    I eat soup all day and order Pizza from papa johns and dominos….

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