Special Guest Post From Author and Petworth Resident: Eric Nuzum

Cocktail Essentials, originally uploaded by DOS82.

Check out Eric’s personal blog here. When Eric first mentioned this idea for a post to me I was overjoyed. It is brilliant. Mr. Nuzum does not disappoint in his take on neighborhood cocktails. Make sure to add your suggestions in the comments. Best three suggestions win a free PoP t-shirt.

If there was a cocktail named after Petworth, what would it be?

There are lots of drinks named after places. There’s the Manhattan, Cape Cod, Long Island Ice Tea, Singapore Sling, Alabama Slamma, and Blue Hawaii just to name a few (my friend Chantal can name at least a dozen others off the top of her head–tells you the kind of friends I have). Heck, you could argue that Sex On The Beach is named after a place, though it probably has more to do with what you do there than the actual beach itself.

So if there was a cocktail or shot named after Petworth (or any other nearby neighborhood), what would it be?

I remember reading an article once about people who have a wire crossed in their brains that causes their senses to interact. When they see, smell, taste, or hear something, it invokes a trigger in a different sense. Thus, these people say that things “sound like salty,” “look very minty,” or “smell like purple.” To me, cocktails should invoke the same kind of sensory crossover. When I sip a Cape Cod, I should be reminded of Cape Cod. When I taste an Alabama Slamma, I want to taste Ala…oh, never mind. That is a terrible thought.

Anyone who has ever worked as a bartender–or as a waitress/waiter in a place that serves alcohol–has played this game. You invent a drink/shot and then you force a customer or co-worker to drink the creation. When they shudder and proclaim, “What the fuck was that?!?”–you make up a title on the spot. You do this over and over again, hundreds of times, waiting impatiently for the time that someone walks up to you and says, “You know, I hear you make a drink called ‘Grandma’s Wrinkles’–can you make me one of those?”

Every drink you’ve ever tasted started off this way.

While lacking a specific recipe, my wife nailed the requisites for “The Petworth.” Post continues after the jump including recipes for Eric’s neighborhood cocktails.

“When someone first hears the ingredients of ‘The Petworth,’ it would sound completely disgusting,” she offered. “Then, once you tried it, it wouldn’t be nearly so bad. Then, a week later, you’d be craving another.”

Genius. Just another example of why I’m a lucky husband.

So, in another example of how good I am at wasting time, I have created suggested cocktails for the following DC neighborhoods: Columbia Heights, Adams Morgan, Mount Pleasant, and Petworth. Mind you, these are just draft suggestions. I’ll ask for your ideas in a minute.

That said, these are all incredibly consumable beverages. Assuming these will take a little while to catch on, you may want to clip these recipes and take them to your favorite drinking establishment. When you ask for “The Columbia Heights” or “The Petworth” and the bartender replies, “I’ve never heard of it”–roll your eyes, pull out this blog post, and prepare for some deliciousness!

“Columbia Heights”
1 oz scotch
1/2 oz vodka
Dash of tequila
Juice from several squeezed lime wedges
Pinch of salt
Tomato juice mixer
One packet of sugar
Mix everything except sugar packet in rocks glass over ice. Open sugar packet and pour onto bar. Draw map in sugar of the Columbia Heights borders as explained by your real estate agent. Argue with friends about borders explained by their real estate agents. Sip drink.
Note: There is a variation on this where one of your friends whips out his iPhone to look it up on Wikipedia. The rules require that this is the guy who has to pay for the round of drinks.

“The Adams Morgan”
1/4 oz watermelon schnapps
1/4 oz vanilla vodka
1/2 ounce municipal tap water
Drink shot. Immediately after swallowing, scream “Oh my Gawd! I am SO DRUNK!”

“The Mount Pleasant”
1 oz 100 proof Cinnamon Schnapps
Dash of pepper
Dash of Tabasco sauce
1 book of matches
Mix shot. Light match. Drink shot. Extinguish match on tongue.

and finally….

“The Petworth”
1 oz Yukon Jack (“The black sheep of Canadian liqueurs”)
1/2 oz Galliano (the yellow stuff in the tall, thin bottle)
1/2 oz Couroisier
Dash of Rose’s Lime Juice
Drink shot. Order another. Drink that one, too.

There you have it. Should these recipes stand or do you think they need alteration? If you feel that “The Petworth” sounds great, but it needs something with a bit more “tang” to it. Speak up.

What are your suggestions for a drink named after your neighborhood?

25 Comment

  • “The 1400 Blk. of Newton St.”

    4 cans of Steel Reserve (211)
    2 bottles of Velekov Vodka
    750 ml. Odessa
    5 gal. city tap water, in a five gallon drywall bucket
    English to Spanish dictionary

    Drink each article one right after the other. Mumble a few words in Manglish (mangled Spanish, spoken by a semi-drunken native English speaking person). Pass out after an hour of stumbling around, on the grass near the flagpole in front of the fire station. Wait for the five gallon bucket of water wake-up call. Repeat this process, until MPDC sends an officer to investigate, and summons an ambulance to take you to the local over-crowded ER, where you can sleep it off. For free.

  • Let me think on this- but to get started, can you make a version of simple sugar with chicken bones?? If so, that will be the secret ingredient of my “Slo Heights Fizz”.

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  • seriously, creating a drink named for neighborhoods that everyone knows about is easy. come up with something hard.

    how about the “randle highlands”, or the “brentwood”? now that would take some talent!

  • The Silver Spring

    1 oz of Overpriced, unpronounceable vodka that was made by cloistered Russian Monks in the mountains.
    1/2 oz top shelf whiskey. Preferably Scottish and old so you can pretend to be a whiskey connoisseur.
    2 oz Cranberry juice because you know you’d never actually be able to drink it straight.
    Lime squeeze that was organically grown and purchased from a neighborhood farmers market/co-op.

    Followed by a beer chaser of beer from a local microbrewery that, let’s face it, tastes like somebody ashed in your cup, but you drink it anyway and talk about hops for 20 minutes.

  • Surely the Petworth should use Rock Creek soda as the mixer, I never heard of it before I moved here. It’s like the Cheerwine of DC! Rock Creek makes up half the soda selection in the Town & Country on Upshur St. Hmmm, maybe the drink could be called the Petworth Town & Country…but I’m a lousy bartender so I’ll have to leave it at that.

  • “Summer Shaw”

    Fill one 7/11 Big Gulp cup with Coke.
    Mix in Courvoisier
    Stand around with your friends in front of my house.
    Talk loudly until at least 3:00 AM.
    Repeat every weekend.

  • How about “Drive By Shooter”?

    You’re right, I’m sorry.

  • Okay- I’ve got it.

    Parkwood Cup:
    1oz Gin
    1/2oz sweet vermouth
    squeeze of orange (or a little triple sec)
    into a high ball full of ice
    Fill with lemon Aid and garnish with a Cucumber Slice and/or a sprig of the damned mint from your neighbor’s yard that’s taking over your patio.

    A variation of a Pimm’s Cup, cause we’re nice n’ classy in Columbia Heights, but you still can’t quite get Pimm’s no.1 at the liquor store on the corner. Yet.

  • I agree with the poster about the rock creek soda. I want to kick 6truck’s ass though. You are a public servant. Those people with problems are still your bosses because they are residents of the city that pays your bills. It’s not just all fighting fires and being a hero. Sometimes you have to swab up puke too. Private citizens have a right to vent (see capitol G). You have a right to make changes from inside the government. Do that instead of venting on a public forum where your bosses may see your hatred. sorry to interrupt the fun with a response that doesn’t include a recipe.

    I was a bartender for a dozen years (worked with Chantal I think) and I never once mixed up a concoction. I was damn good at making martinis and pouring wine though. Some bartenders are true mixologists. I wasn’t. I do think the petworth sounds good though.

  • Whatever drink one comes up with, make sure it comes in a bottle for smashing on the sidewalk later.

  • Petworthres good call on the Rock Creek Soda!

    Petworth Shot

    Rock Creek (Ginger Ale version of their soda)
    Some kind of Mango flavored vodka
    Edge glass with sugar 🙂

  • Also, make sure it can come in a 40….

  • Dupont Circle Punch

    2ml of GHB
    6 oz Gatorade (any flavor)

    Thoroughly mix and enjoy… please refrain from driving for the next hour.

  • Two suggestions, based upon the highest rate of occurrence:

    1. The “10th and Quincy”

    2 oz. Chandon Brut Champagne
    2 oz. Grey Goose
    4 oz. Generic “Fruit Punch” drink served in a plastic bottle with squeeze top that always seems to be discarded on the ground immediately next to the rogue trash cans that the neighbor placed next to the sidewalk at his intersection in a futile effort to encourage the parade of dumbass high school kids from using his lawn as a trash dump.

    Mix well, drink, and dispose (preferably through an open car window as you speed down 10th Street towards Randolph).


    2. The “13th and Quincy”

    12 oz. Corona

    After drinking several of these, take the time to place your empties back into the cardboard six-pack holder. Neatly place the Cardboard six-pack holder, including the empties, into the flimsy black plastic bag provided at purchase. Gently place the bag containing the intact six-pack somewhere in the triangle bordered by Kansas, 13th, and Quincy. Repeat.

    Note: by no means should the bags containing the empty six-packs be placed close to each other or the surrounding 22 oz. Heineken empties within the bounds of the triangle. Good-Samaritans should be forced to maximize both distance traveled and effort exerted.

  • Having no idea where 6truck falls on the public-private continuum, his is a damn accurate (and also damn snarky) comment. Probably needs more Odessa vodka in his recipe, though, as it seems to be underpoured in his concoction compared to its namesake locale.

  • Petworth Shooter

    Float cream over Kaluah, symbolizing the gentle re-integration of our beloved hood, then top with Bacardi 151 and light on fire, in memory of the race riots of the 60s.

    Mandatory to make at least two, sharing with a person of different background to your own. Drink and become friends.

  • The only connection I’m making between the Mt. Pleasant shot and Mt. Pleasant itself is a recently extinguished fire. I’m sure we can do better.

  • Shepworth Sipper

    1 oz Sambuca
    1 oz Kahlua
    Chilled Heavy Cream
    Pure Cane Sugar

    Brown & Crisp Top w/ Creme Brulee Torch
    Serve w/ Bendy Straw (emphasis on bendy straw)
    Puncture Crispy Cap & Consume

  • Flipflpirate, by Creme Brulee Torch, you mean blow torch right? There was a time they were used for things like say, fixing plumbing, but now they’re needed in the kitchen.

  • Jeezus, I can’t improve on my next-door neighbor’s margaritas.

    But whatever becomes the signature drink of Irving Street (east of Georgia Ave), it must be called THE AMBULANCE CHASER….. (that block being a preferred route to the ER)

  • What about drinks for those of us in NE.

    How about the Brooklander

    Combined in Equal parts
    – Malt Liquor (Old E or Mickey’s Big Mouth)
    – Cisco
    – Mad Dog 20/20
    Topped with a splash of Holy Water and Entitlement

    Mix with finger or other appendage, drink in one gulp and dump empty plastic cup in neighbor’s yard, while trying to take a whizz on a car.

  • The “Takoma Park”
    1 tspn. wheatgrass
    1 tspn. echinea
    1 tspn. rosehips
    1 tspn. free range, organic, non-greenhouse, hibiscus blossom buds
    .5 tspn. Tibetan shitake mushroom powder
    2 cups Newman’s Own no-child-labor lemonade
    1 oz. Costa Rican hand picked, fair trade, Libertad coffee liquer

  • none

  • Prince Of Petworth

    Sligo Creeker and Parkwood person you win shoot me an email so I can get you t-shirts.

Comments are closed.